tickxtock

Tonite, I should be in San Diego drinking it up with theSTART. Instead... Im at home, sober, penniless, and sleepy. I unknowingly spent my last few bucks on a Siouxsie ticket and a guitar. I guess it kind of works out in the end. I probably would have shown up to the venue a little too early... Helped out the band unload and set up... then get pushed aside for newer younger hip kids. Dont get me wrong. I love them with all my heart and Im sure they know it. But with every band that I know... I see them pull off their coats so every one keeps a clean boot to dance with. And when its my turn to walk it gets pulled from under me. I guess its how they have always seen me. Ive never asked for anything. Ive only been let into one show for free and that wasnt my choice... and girl forced me to stay at the merch booth. I dunno. I guess Im just trying to make myself feel better about not being able to go tonite. Why the fuck wasnt I born into money. I look all around me and I see dollar signs burnt into the faces of those I see... all I have is an I.O.U. under my left heel.