My God, I'm in pain
The following tale can be filed under "Be careful what you wish for"
After almost eight years working around FX guys, the moment I had been waiting for finally came to pass: "Hey, do you think you might want to perform in a creature suit for a commercial?"
"Heck yeah!", I said.
They made it sound so easy: Three days in a relatively simple costume that weighs just over fifty pounds. No big deal.
What they neglected to mention was that I would be required to RUN in said fifty pound costume UPHILL mostly with my arms stuck INSIDE the costume.
Let me tell ya, you don't appreciate how much you use your arms to maintain balance until you try running without the use of them with fifty pounds strapped to your back.
Anyway, my first inclination that thing were not going to go well was when, on the first take of the first set-up on the first day, the entire inner suit harness quite literally rattled apart. Much like myself, the guys who made the suit weren't told that it would have to withstand the stresses of running.
But being the good soldier that I am, I didn't want to stop and tell the director that the damn thing wasn't going to work. I held it together for the rest of the takes, balancing the weight precariously on my knuckles until the suit could be fixed for the next setup. Suffice to say, the hands were quite bloody by the end.
Then there was the chafing Oh, dear God, the chafing! Ya see, my scrawny little legs protruded out the bottom of the rubber and fiberglass monstrosity. Once again, as the running factor had not been considered, raw bloodiness ensued.
Anyway, after two twelve hour days in that thing, I didn't know if I was gonna live to see the third which, naturally, proved to be the most strenuous; a big, steep hill with very uneven terrain. Now, my leg muscles had turned to Jell-O at that point, but I'd be damned if I was gonna let someone else finish the job I started. It was only through the grace of God - after I inevitably tore/pulled something in my right leg - that I made it through.
Thankfully P.E. has been taking good care of me, i.e. lots of massages. She even summoned the courage to apply Neosporin to places on my body that I dare not touch.
Quite a girl, that P.E.
But hey, it was quite an experience. I just hope the damn thing airs. I know it's not uncommon to shelve commercials before they're ever shown, but considering the sheer scale of the shoot (about three hundred extras), I dare say it'll have its day.
So if in the next few months you see a commercial featuring a mob of people chasing a... (actually, I'm not allowed to say yet), you'll know that those are my pale legs doing all the hard work!
The following tale can be filed under "Be careful what you wish for"
After almost eight years working around FX guys, the moment I had been waiting for finally came to pass: "Hey, do you think you might want to perform in a creature suit for a commercial?"
"Heck yeah!", I said.
They made it sound so easy: Three days in a relatively simple costume that weighs just over fifty pounds. No big deal.
What they neglected to mention was that I would be required to RUN in said fifty pound costume UPHILL mostly with my arms stuck INSIDE the costume.
Let me tell ya, you don't appreciate how much you use your arms to maintain balance until you try running without the use of them with fifty pounds strapped to your back.
Anyway, my first inclination that thing were not going to go well was when, on the first take of the first set-up on the first day, the entire inner suit harness quite literally rattled apart. Much like myself, the guys who made the suit weren't told that it would have to withstand the stresses of running.
But being the good soldier that I am, I didn't want to stop and tell the director that the damn thing wasn't going to work. I held it together for the rest of the takes, balancing the weight precariously on my knuckles until the suit could be fixed for the next setup. Suffice to say, the hands were quite bloody by the end.
Then there was the chafing Oh, dear God, the chafing! Ya see, my scrawny little legs protruded out the bottom of the rubber and fiberglass monstrosity. Once again, as the running factor had not been considered, raw bloodiness ensued.
Anyway, after two twelve hour days in that thing, I didn't know if I was gonna live to see the third which, naturally, proved to be the most strenuous; a big, steep hill with very uneven terrain. Now, my leg muscles had turned to Jell-O at that point, but I'd be damned if I was gonna let someone else finish the job I started. It was only through the grace of God - after I inevitably tore/pulled something in my right leg - that I made it through.
Thankfully P.E. has been taking good care of me, i.e. lots of massages. She even summoned the courage to apply Neosporin to places on my body that I dare not touch.
Quite a girl, that P.E.
But hey, it was quite an experience. I just hope the damn thing airs. I know it's not uncommon to shelve commercials before they're ever shown, but considering the sheer scale of the shoot (about three hundred extras), I dare say it'll have its day.
So if in the next few months you see a commercial featuring a mob of people chasing a... (actually, I'm not allowed to say yet), you'll know that those are my pale legs doing all the hard work!