thyestean23

There is nothing worse than fooling yourself. There's nothing worse than having to be careful of what you say. There is nothing worse than being unsure. There is, therefore, nothing worse than regret. Sometimes when your running around this illusion we call life you come to find that your original assumptions were the correct ones. There is nothing worse than doubting your knowledge of self. There is nothing outside of you than can help you become. You can look and seek all you like, but in the end you are the answer. If things arent right, its often because you are not right. Your are not right with yourself. I can't stress enough how real that is or how not easy that is to really get one's head around. This is the reason we can see everyone else so clearly, yet ourselves we labor over the very same issues we advise our friends on. The self is the greatest mystery of all and should not be taken lightly. In that sense we need our friends to be our mirrors. Yet, this is as dangerous as it its required. They have to be honest, accurate and selfless in the feedback they provide. Just as we have to be honest, open and selfless as to how we take that feed back. Life is hard, friends are hard to have....for some. If you happen to find yourself not being who you thought you are and, at the same time, lacking the reflective support of real and true friends then that is the very essence of being lost. It becomes hard not to wrap yourself around the first thing that comes along. Doing so will just make that bad spot worse. The truth is time heals all wounds. Not giving yourself that time will certainly do even more damage.

Personally im waiting to breath freely. Im waiting for the day that i dont have to keep everything at arms length for fear of my own failure. For fear of dissappointment. For fear of being the victim of others assumptions and fears. Giving credit where credit is due people have tried to help, but im just not there yet. Im waiting to find my home, my safe harbor. The one built by me.