getting my life back together, i feel like i'm becoming me again. i think i am finally learning how to be me, without the crutch of somebody else. i feel good, and can almost feel that motivation, that need to chase that dream again. call it luck, call it fate, call it what you will, but i don't think i can deny this instinct anymore. i have to write, i have to play, i have to create this music. it's like a swarm of butterflies bouncing around in my head, waiting to find an open window to burst out of. it's a lovely feeling, to know that, as much as i lost myself, i am not completely gone. there is still hope for me, i don't have to give up. i still have a chance to do the things i was so ambitious to do when i was younger. i'm still a work in progress, and i may never be perfect, but i am me. that's all i ever wanted.