thisisalladream

i will forever question the following:

1. is this a sign or simply coincidence?
2. is this the right move for me to make?
3. will it ever make sense?
4. am i simply perpetuating destructive behavior, or have i just not found the right "one" yet?
5. am i ever going to have "it"?

there are most likely a ton more but my medicine is kicking in and making me a tad bit loopy. i just have no idea what i'm doing these days. i want to talk to someone, to tell them all of these thoughts, fears, a silly little ideas that clog up my mind minute to minute, but i can't. i feel bashful and ashamed, among other feelings and i simply can not bring myself to spill these thoughts to someone else. maybe i'm afraid, maybe i can't get it all out for fear my heart my burst into tiny little pieces, or maybe it's just too hard for me to ask for help. to ask for a shoulder to lean on and an ear to talk off....



i may never know the answers, but i really do need a sign to let me know if i'm headed in the right direction.