thinkofsomething

... and now Im taking flack for being a dead-beat on the internet. Im not certain, but I think that's one of the signs of the apocalypse. seriously though, this entry is predestined to a pathetic existence, like so many of us. an anecdote to elaborate: I once gave a friend two mix CDS I made. in retrospect, she commented, "I liked the first you gave me; it was fresh, engaging music. but the second was sort of bland, familiar fare." what she was overlooking, was the role of the mixes in their context. that is, I make mixes (as I make anything) as a conscious dialogue for the present. the descriptions she gave of the mixes could have just as easily been applied to our relationship at the time. what Im trying to say is this: ideal content takes into consideration those systems of which it is a substructure and tailors itself to the moment and subject of it's experience. one's work, as a good artisan (or human-being in general), should be adaptable. sadly, I am increasing poor at this, finding less and less energy for it in my latter years. --which brings me back to an excuse for having not written here for a sizable span. I could conjure plenty of them, Im sure. to include: my nitrous ate my brain, Ive been fighting off copious pressure to sell out (ie.get a real job!), and -of course- I just won't do anything that I can't hate myself for later. Im still not sure if paying money that I need for food (and drugs) on this tawdry web-site qualifies as the latter or not. regardless, in truth, having recognized my lessened ability (or willingness) to adapt, Ive been trying to arrange my relocation from the local CBD to a more remote local. dealing with what this entails takes much of my time and energy. i do appreciate the attention and intention of any who may have noticed my hiatus. though, the ranks are few and far. may the great karmic death-wheel spin in their favor, whatever that may be. and that, my dear, is what's called "running it into the ground" -my forte.