theyerg

since i took a little sleep aid a little while ago, this may be absolute jibberish, but oh well.
i am a pretty laid back guy. lackadaisical at times. and some times i just don't give a shit. but most of the time i am pretty decisive. i have no problems laying my cards on the table and letting those around me react as they may.
but right now i am just in one of those funks where the indecision rules me. i read an article yesterday while sitting at a car dealer about people that they are calling twixters now. people roughly my age who float from job to job, relationship to relationship, city to city. some say they are merely trying on different things to see what fits. others say it is the fear of commitment that seems more blatant in today's society. another is that these people are trapped in adolescence and haven't been forced to grow up.
who the fuck knows?
i sure as hell don't.
if the raise doesn't come through next month do i quit? if so, do i stay here and try to find something in a new field and start over? do i try another city where friends have asked me to move before? do i want to take on car payments again? lease or buy? car or SUV? do i want to be in a relationship? a friend with benefits? just continue to meet girls? continue my boycott on the haircut that has been going since november? shave my fucking head? another tattoo? angel on my arm? celtic cross on my chest? cover up PJ stick figure with coy fish? get a haida raven?
i don't really have anyone to talk to here that i could bounce stuff off. my best friend and wing man moved to denver yesterday.
now i am just yammering on. fuck it, i am going to bed. night all.