theyerg

this is one of the only places that i write about emotions or dating in my life, mainly because i know that for the most part, nobody reads it. i am cool with that. i can entertain my moment of catharsis without any judgement.
its been a hellish week for me.
when i graduated from college... twelve fucking long years ago... there was this slew of wedding that i had to go to for all my fraternity brothers and friends that were marrying their college sweethearts. i seriously went to seventeen weddings in a three year period.
thankfully, since moving to charlotte, i have sort of have the excuse of being all the way down in north carolina for not having to go back to PA for weddings. some of which are second marriages of the initial post college onslaught.
but now that i am in my mid 30s, there is another crop of friends that are getting married. dropping like fucking flies is more like it. one of my close friends thankfully eloped last weekend. one of my best friends is getting married this weekend. my other best friend is next summer.
watching faceyspace updates, a number of women i have dated over the years have gone on to get hitched. some of them, i am already enduring baby pictures in their updates. insanity.
all this has served as a constant reminder that the longer i stay single, i will in all likelihood, stay single. chronically so... tinge of depression to that.

four months ago, the bar manager at one of my favorite local water holes, past away rather suddenly. out camping, he suffered from a diabetic seizure and was beyond saving in full cardiac arrest by the time he got medical attention. we have a tight knit crew in the neighborhood, and it was taken very hard.
a few weeks ago, the owners of the bar asked if i would paint a portrait of him for a fundraising oyster roast in his honor. i am still not good enough to call myself an artist, in my mind, but how could i say no?
it was one of the most difficult undertakings i have put on a canvas. the pressure of painting a friend that was so well loved.
i dropped off the finished product today and didn't feel the best about it. didn't know if it really looked like him. until another artist and friend and bartender at that bar saw it today. the look on his face choked me up. made for an emotional day.

my charity is kicking off in less than three weeks, and as usual, i feel overwhelmingly underprepared. i JUST booked the second band for our kickoff party yesterday. something i usually have done months in advance. thankfully, a friend of mine, adam (who plays with an international touring act that you most definitely have heard of) had his birthday party on sunday and his little brother, nathan, was there. nathan has his own band that i have never heard, but i wanted to give him a shot. put him in a room with good sound and about 300 people and see what he can do. if he is anything like his brother, he is going to shine...