Think about it. If more people, especially those who are in positions of power and influence, had better and more satisfying relationships in their lives, more of us would be a lot happier and less likely to be assholes.
And I'm not just talking about romantic/sexual relationships, I'm definitely including platonic ones. We spend more time around our coworkers than we do our families and friends for the most part, so it would make a lot of jobs more bearable, if less of us were miserable bastards, because we're miserably lonely.
I have a very problematic boss, who I can have plenty of great conversations with about music or movies, but he's an incredibly closed-minded bigot. In my opinion, a lot of his beliefs and views are insanely ignorant. He's expressed a lot of sexist, racist, and homophobic values that are hard to ignore and he's one of the biggest reasons why I am looking to leave my current position.
It should be noted that I am being pushed out of this job by my boss's immediate superiors. It's suspected that my facility is trying to downsize and consolidate their staff, so the bosses are finding some really shitty reasons to target me. I've discussed the situation at length with my boss, who has been cut out of this whole discussion by his two bosses, so my team leader has become an unlikely supporter during this ordeal. He's had similar issues with the top brass and he has encouraged me to not just take this and fight to keep my job.
I think a lot of the reasoning behind him supporting me is because I have never pushed back on any of his vitriol. Trust me, I could have reported him to HR a number of times for some really ugly and terrible shit, but the shift I am on is very small and it would be all-but impossible to not have it be obvious that I ratted on him. My failure to speak up may be seen as either acceptance or approval of his idiocy.
He's never really been one I would want to seek out for conversation, unless we're essentially geeking out over a song or movie. In times like that, he's actually a decent guy and somewhat intelligent. I wouldn't say I'd be friends with him under other circumstances, but I can't help but wonder what he'd be like if he actually had more friends. I get the impression that he's never been married nor is he dating anyone. He talks a lot about spending his weekends alone or at his parents' and that is what gets me thinking about the initial point I started out with here.
I know that about a year ago, I was single, with no real prospects to meet anyone new. I had no real social life, because the few opportunities I had to spend time with other like-minded people were no longer available. I was doing nothing but working and sitting at home. I was miserable and had a shitty attitude. I missed having semi-regular gatherings to look forward to. I resented the people at work and was more sarcastic because I didn't have people I could really talk to in my life.
This isolation and loneliness made me feel more hostile, but the experience of having friends to talk to meant I could vent my frustrations calmly, because I knew my opinions wouldn't immediately be shot down. As ironic as it might sound, but I bet my boss would be a less problematic person, if he had at least one truly meaningful relationship in his life. Be it a good pal to grab a drink with or have over to watch "the game" with. I bet he'd be even more pleasant if he was getting laid more often.
I don't want to get into personal details, but I have a relationship in my life that means the world to me. Even though my job situation stinks, I know I have my girlfriend to rely on for support. I bet if I were closer with my family and they were closer as a whole, we'd all be more likely to want to be there for one another. I look at some of the more toxic members of my family and I can see that those who are the most difficult to deal with, just so happen to also be the ones who are the most alone.
I can't say that more people coming together in mutually-respected, loved, and supported is always going to be 100% good. We all differ on what we feel is moral and right and even those who we disagree with have their own communities that accept them. Even a racist piece of shit can find love and friends. I'm losing my point here.
Basically, I'm saying that most of us would be in better moods overall, if we had someone in our lives to help redirect their hate into something positive. If we were all more empathetic, we'd possibly be less to act out of ignorance and apathy, because we'd find ourselves questioning how such behavior would look to those whom we respect and want to be respected by.
If you had someone you really cherished in your life, would you be as quick to act like a complete asshole, at the risk of scaring off someone you care about? Does that make sense? This edible is really kicking in now and I am starting to get distracted.
I have a related opinion that is somewhat ironic, as it is me calling religion into question. I will admit I am an agnostic/atheist and I have absolutely no use for religion. I may share those ideas tomorrow, if I get into this mindset again.
medmusa:
I’m perfectly agreeing with you. We spent so much time with our coworkers that it’s crazy to think that most of them spent all of their time hating and talking shit about others. Quality time and relationship with quality people is the answer!