TLDR: I am alone in my current setting. I'm more Liberal than most of my coworkers and family. I am also an Atheist, which makes life in my region a little tough, when it comes to meeting like-minded people. Long story short, the last four years have been miserable and if you search my post history, you'll see plenty of examples of some of the interactions I have had with the Trump supporters in my life. I recently got a scathing email from my brother, not written by him, but most likely indicative of most of his reasons for why he supports Trump. Essentially, the message puts all the blame squarely on Liberals/Leftists/Democrats and their supposed "hateful" and "bigoted" behavior. It's all mostly the sort of Conservative talking point rundown, placing the Right on defense against an evil force, hellbent on DESTROYING AMERICA!
I have yet to respond to my brother and while he is certainly the most vocal Trumpster in my immediate family, he is not the only one. I don't have a very close relationship with most of my relatives, in fact I'd almost call my connection to them almost sociopathic in that I often feel like I am just pretending to care and playing nice, because I could honestly be alright if I never saw any of them again. It's mostly an emotionally draining experience dealing with them at times and while I don't flat out hate them, there are some people who have really worn down my nerves and patience. But that isn't the worst of it. I can't, at least for now, do anything to avoid my coworkers, who have definitely had their fill of the ORANGE KOOL-AID. From hearing them talk about how QAnon has some "really interesting ideas on their site" to jokes being made about BLM protestors being run over by cars, I often hear enough ugly pro-Trump garbage and conspiratorial bullshit to make me wish I could just walk off the job. The company itself is run by a Conservative family and the head of HR likes to sprinkle plenty of anti-Liberal propaganda in his bi-annual meetings with the employees. We should be due for another such meeting before November 3rd and I am dreading whatever this nitwit is going to say to us to try and convince us that Biden is a bad guy. Again, nothing new here, my post history is full of such lamentations.
No, dear reader, today is something special. I have been graced with some new wisdom from my boss. This is a man who has said things like, how he believes lesbians want to remove all men from society, or how he should convert to judaism so he can claim anti-semitism whenever he doesn't get his way, or how he needs to marry a "blonde-haired blue-eyed Spanish woman, become a citizen of Spain, and then come back to the US as an immigrant so he can have everything handed to him. He's a real gem. 53 y/o, drinks at least one 2-liter of Mt. Dew a day, and almost always has one shoe untied. If it weren't for his blatantly ignorant worldview, he'd be a decent guy. We talk plenty about music and film, but I try very hard to avoid politics. He knows I am a Liberal and that I hate Trump. He can't seem to let it sink in that I am not head over heels for Biden, as if the idea that you don't have to treat your President like he is god is completely unnatural to him. I don't think he realizes I am also an Atheist or maybe he just doesn't care as he has said before that Atheists have no morals. Oh well, I guess you'll just have to trust me here. I will admit I am very opinionated but I also lack conviction and am not great with conflict, so I am pretty much a talking doormat.
So, today, at work, my boss, sits down and begins to talk. He starts out with the expected praise of Trump's miraculous recovery from COVID and how it only proves that masks are pointless and that the virus isn't a big deal. He jokingly called his dear leader, "The Trumpinator" and then he went after the media and how biased it is. How the news always goes after Conservatives and never after the Liberals. He then began to regale me with what I can only assume was his most honest thoughts on things. "The problem is the the Liberals and the intelligentsia control the colleges. They have been brainwashing kids with all sorts of immoral ideas, since most Liberals are Atheists and they hate Judeo-Christian values. Sure, they still like to celebrate Christmas, because they get presents, but they ultimately want to get rid of religion."
This somehow connected his thoughts to LGBTQ rights. "Gay people never wanted to have marriage. Men just wanted to keep going to bath houses, fucking whoever they wanted. Lesbians, just want to take their hot girlfriends to parties and show-off, so men would go nuts and talk about them. The only reason the Liberals gave the gays marriage, is because a lot of gays work in Washington and they wanted those primo benefits for their partners. Otherwise, marriage wasn't a big deal to them." (Take a deep breath folks, it's not over.)
My boss then mentioned one of the women who works on the opposite shift, who happens to be engaged to a woman. "(NAME) has been "engaged" to her fiancée for over a year now. If she's so serious about getting married, why haven't they done it yet? I don't even know if she still calls her her fiancée or not still or if they've even set a date yet." (Um, have you read the news lately? Lots of weddings have been delayed.)
Feel free to either feel appalled on my behalf or angry at me for not immediately punching my boss in the face, but again, I am terrible with conflict. I work in a very small setting, just me, my boss, and another employee who wasn't there today. If I were to talk to HR about this, it will obviously come back on me. Granted, my boss is already in hot water with his superiors, but since it would be impossible to keep my ratting him out a secret from his like-minded friends on 1st shift, I honestly don't know how much longer I'd feel comfortable working there. I probably could have, should have, cut my boss off and told him that what he was saying was bullshit or at least pushed back a little. Instead, I tried joking that I avoid any sort of wedding talk because, as a divorcee myself, I don't really care much for weddings. I then walked away, my jaw dragging along the floor behind me.
I want to make it clear, I am not the victim here. If I had half the conviction and self-respect of people much stronger than me, I would have been pushing back as insistently and respectfully as possible, whenever the people around me start in with their vitriol. I'd throw their nonsense back at them with actual facts and questions as to why they feel the way they do. Instead, I just nod and smile and rush online to post shit about them that most likely will never been seen by anyone. If I really had my wits about me, I'd at least tell my boss that his words are incredibly small-minded and ignorant, but I make some sort of non sequitur remark and tuck my tail between my legs.
So, yeah. That happened and I have been more or less unsure of what to even say or do next. It just all culminates in the overwhelming desire to get the ever-loving fuck out of here. If I have just an inkling of where I could go, so that I could put some distance between myself and a family situation that is toxic at worst and "spiritually-draining" at best. If I could find work in an area that won't make me feel like I'm being paid to willingly chip away at my "soul" five-days-a-week, I'd have a better reason to get out of bed other than the need to pay bills. Today was one of the worst days I have had at work, this just a day or two after getting that terribly ugly email from my brother. It leaves me questioning how much of any of this is worth it. I should just move out to that Liberal bastion that is L.A., but according to an article my boss suggested I read, L.A. is full of Mexicans who are slowly planning on taking the state back.
It wouldn't be so terrible if this sort of attitude wasn't so common among Trump supporters. Even the ones, like my brother, who are willing to admit that Trump is an asshole, still can't refrain from language that clearly illustrates where they are coming from. They don't like seeing those who are different get anything at all. It's basically as if Trump supporters, i.e. straight white Christians, believe that giving rights to others means having to take those rights away from them first. If we allow gay marriage, that means evangelicals can't legally discriminate against them. If we allow women autonomy over their bodies, we can't essentially make them scapegoats from male predatory behavior. If we let more immigrants into the country or allow more people of color to flourish, white culture will die. I'm probably preaching to the choir at this point, but you get the idea.
I probably should have challenged my boss a little bit, he probably wouldn't have liked it, but I doubt his reaction would have been like my brother's when I tried talking to him about the concept of white privilege. My brother cut me off almost as soon as I said the words. He doesn't believe such a thing exists and he's called my concerns over the growing influence that evangelicals have on our courts, fear-mongering and propaganda. Maybe, that's all both sides have left at this point, fear. The Right is afraid of change and the Left is afraid of things staying the same. I'm just tired of being outnumbered throughout all of this. My fear is that next month is bound to end in violence, regardless of who wins the election. Call me crazy, but if I'm right, you owe me a Coke. Or a Pepsi, I'm not picky.