(An email I sent to some people I know)
Hey all,
I hope this email finds you well and more or less sane. I am certain I am not the only one who feels like they are "looking at the world from the bottom of a well" these days. Whether it's the nonstop barrage of COVID-related news or reports of protesting and general unrest over social injustices, it is damn near impossible to not see the world as a dumpster fire. As a result, I have found myself growing increasingly isolated and misanthropic over the past few months. I have mentioned before, at the LWR meetings, that one of my biggest concerns is lacking a community of like-minded folks who I can actually talk to without feeling like I am wasting my time.
While I thankfully don't have anyone in my life who is super religious or spiritual, most of them are more politically conservative than I am. Not that I'm saying all Conservatives with a hard "C" are bad people, I am basically talking about the Trump-supporting, Alex Jones-listening, QAnon-following types. I know a handful of these folks and they are coworkers and relatives, so it is a little hard to avoid them. To be blunt, I have lost all patience/use for the people who choose to still go against globally-accepted health and safety standards, because of their prideful ignorance. I don't care if these people are motivated by their dear leaders or the delusion that the blood of an imaginary friend will protect them. I just know that I have no sympathy left for those who play stupid games and win stupid prizes. They are putting the rest of us at risk and I just have no energy left to waste on these people.
I made a point of taking myself off of all social media, in hopes of avoiding such voices. I dropped Facebook and Reddit, I don't use Twitter or Instagram, and I avoid anything on YouTube that isn't about movies, music, video games, or cats. It might be seen as burying my head in the sand, but I just can't stand listening to flawed logic and the temptation to get drawn into flame wars. I'll admit there are people on all sides of every argument who no longer have any interest in the possibility that they might be wrong. For them it's pretty much, "If you don't agree with me, you should just go die in a fire." Civil discourse is a dying art and I have retreated into my own little world as a result. Not the best course of action, but most real-life places are closed right now, so it's hard to know where to go to find that aforementioned community I so desperately crave.
The biggest problem I have had throughout all of this is that there doesn't seem to be a lot to feel hopeful about. I'm dreading November, because no matter how the election plays out, the last effects of the past four years will linger for a generation. Call me an alarmist, but I also am willing to bet that there will be violence if among the Trumpsters if their mango messiah loses. I am taking the 3rd off and I plan on hunkering down with some edibles and a few beers that night, as the results start rolling in. Well, that was the plan, but now with the mail-in ballots, we may not know the winner until a few days later. Oh well, I am sure I will have plenty to hear from my lovely coworkers one way or another.
I can't wait to see what one guy, who has lamented that, "the blacks are out-breeding us," will say if America has it's first black female VP. Another coworker, who seemed to be fine with the idea of driving cars into BLM protestors, so I wonder if he'll be as callous if legions of Trump supporters arm themselves and storm capital buildings to protest, if Orange 45 loses? What can I say, I have some really classy people I get to see every day. I also have relatives that have some questionable ideas, but I try to tolerate them as they are the only family I have. It doesn't make me any less socially apathetic at times, so I have tried to keep my negativity to myself and have been staying in every weekend.
I have been watching a lot of shows and movies and listening to a ton of music. Am I the only one who has found certain media to be incredibly cathartic to the point that even silly Comedies can bring you to tears? I could certainly make some recommendations to those of you with various streaming services. I'd so love to go to a concert or a movie, or at least get together with some people at a coffee shop again. If nothing else, I hope that the loss of meaningful real-life interactions will make the sane and rational people of the world realize how important those things are. Perhaps once the world gets back to whatever the new normal is, we'll see stronger communities. That video, "The Great Realisation" couldn't have put it any better. Even a jaded grump like me got it.
Beyond all that, I did want to take a moment to reach out to the group. I am still around, even if I am not really feeling like I make the best company at times. I know I am not the only one struggling to stay focused on the things that matter and I am sure that there are those out there who are dealing with even worse concerns. I wish I could end with some sort of deeply profound statement on the state of things or some hopeful words of encouragement, but that's not really my forte. I'll just say that I do look forward to in-person meetings again. I hope everyone is well and that your weekend is relaxing. I'm around if anyone does want to talk.
Take care for now,
Mark V.