Sometimes life can be extremely frustrating, especially when it comes to love. I've been in love at least once before, I dated a girl for about a year and as far as I can tell, the feelings I had for her were mutual. I've also had tons of crushes that were almost always kept to myself, simply because I am horribly shy, especially when it comes to women I find attractive. It seems I am only capable of really feeling all that comfortable when I am having a conversation with someone online.
Every woman I have have ever been involved with has met me online, be it on MySpace, OkCupid, some random personals site, or in a chat room. It's just easier to do it that way because I am forced to rely on conversations to help base my interest in a girl rather than what she looks like alone. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get involved with any of the girls who model for this site, they're all extremely sexy and I have to admit that it's almost an unrealized fetish of mine to be with a woman who is more like a Suicide Girl rather than some girly-girl type.
Unfortunately, my biggest issue that is holding me back is my self-esteem that much is obvious to me. Another thing though, is never knowing if a girl is truly into me or not. As of late, every girl I have gotten involved with has lost interest in me fairly early on and I haven't been able to find anyone I truly click with. I am not sure what I am looking for exactly, as I am really trying to not let my sexual frustrations be the sole reason for wanting to meet someone, but letting the fact that I miss having someone in my life to talk to and care about be the reason for wanting to look for a new relationship.
I started talking to one girl, after posting a personals ad online, and we seem to have hit it off, but we've yet to meet and she recently told me she is still in love with a friend of hers. It seems like she wants to keep it platonic between us and I respect her for telling me this before we got too close. I just am disappointed because I was really starting to like her. Another girl has also been talking to me a little, but she's been ten times more forward. We just had a chat online the other day and there was a lot of innuendo being tossed around. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy talking about sex and making jokes about it as it is a lot of fun and if I can't be having it, joking about it is the next best thing. This 2nd girl has already dropped a hint that she'd like to meet and I am almost willing to, but I need to make sure it is because I actually am interested in her and not just in what's waiting in her pants.
Lastly, I have always had this shameless crush on a girl who hosts a local TV show. Viewers participate in this "talk/game show" via text messages and I've become a regular participant. In fact, when I end up taking a break from the show (because I can't afford too many text messages) and then come back, I can see this host's face light up. I haven't been shy at all about flirting with her, I pretty much make sure every message I send in is a compliment, a slight innuendo, or anything else I can think of to get this girl to smile, laugh, blush, or see that I am quite taken with her.
She always has tons of nice things to say and jokes back with me, she's said how she loves me and how she's missed me while I was taking a break from the show. She's made comments about how she wants to have my babies and has even been reduced to just smiling when I make some comment. If this was real life, one would assume she was totally into me, but this is TV and I know there has got to be a more logical reason for her positive reception to my woos.
Other viewers who seem to like her as well, end up getting similar responses from her. Nothing she's said to me hasn't been said to anyone else, so I think she's being coached to be as nice and alluring as she can so more people will text in. I am embarrassed to admit I get jealous when other guys send in messages that are flirtations, but I know she has to be nice to everyone.
After taking a long break from the show, it does get expensive after awhile, I decided to drop in and send in some messages. As soon as this girl saw I sent in something, she just went silent and then started gushing over the fact that I was back. I heard how much she missed me and the usual stuff like that, and of course I was tempted to keep talking. I mentioned how I was still single and joked that a couple gift cards I had won from the show for free massages would fit perfectly into a nice date night for her and I. Somewhere along the line, the hostess said something that almost sounded like her giving in and accepting my offer for a date.
I decided to just play it cool after that, but I sent her a message on Facebook and told her how I am only half joking when I flirt with her. I do find her funny and beautiful and very appealing, but I understand how there's bound to be policies against her and the other hosts of the show from getting involved with the viewers. I told her that I appreciated the fact that she had just as much fun with our flirting as I did and how it made it worth the price of texting in all the time.
Her response was very positive and she said how she missed seeing me a lot. She said how she always enjoys my messages and how polite I always am. I am not horribly crude like some guys are and send her messages that blatantly appraise her breasts, I may think certain things, but I keep it to myself. Essentially, this girl seemed very pleased to her from me, but I also got the vibe that it was also a standard, "Thanks for watching.", response.
So, I have three women in my life, all whom I've never met, but am interested in all the same. One girl seems really great but is in love with another guy and just wants to be friends with me, be it just for now or for good. Another girl seems to be very aggressive and forward and I can't help but think my interest back is based only on sex, which means no hope for a meaningful relationship. Lastly, I have a huge crush on a girl who I have no real bead on. I can't tell if she's interested back or just being nice.
Short of me meeting a Suicide Girl who loves geeky and indecisive boys like me, I am not sure who is going to be right for me and if I have even met her yet. Like I said, life is frustrating sometimes.
Every woman I have have ever been involved with has met me online, be it on MySpace, OkCupid, some random personals site, or in a chat room. It's just easier to do it that way because I am forced to rely on conversations to help base my interest in a girl rather than what she looks like alone. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get involved with any of the girls who model for this site, they're all extremely sexy and I have to admit that it's almost an unrealized fetish of mine to be with a woman who is more like a Suicide Girl rather than some girly-girl type.
Unfortunately, my biggest issue that is holding me back is my self-esteem that much is obvious to me. Another thing though, is never knowing if a girl is truly into me or not. As of late, every girl I have gotten involved with has lost interest in me fairly early on and I haven't been able to find anyone I truly click with. I am not sure what I am looking for exactly, as I am really trying to not let my sexual frustrations be the sole reason for wanting to meet someone, but letting the fact that I miss having someone in my life to talk to and care about be the reason for wanting to look for a new relationship.
I started talking to one girl, after posting a personals ad online, and we seem to have hit it off, but we've yet to meet and she recently told me she is still in love with a friend of hers. It seems like she wants to keep it platonic between us and I respect her for telling me this before we got too close. I just am disappointed because I was really starting to like her. Another girl has also been talking to me a little, but she's been ten times more forward. We just had a chat online the other day and there was a lot of innuendo being tossed around. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy talking about sex and making jokes about it as it is a lot of fun and if I can't be having it, joking about it is the next best thing. This 2nd girl has already dropped a hint that she'd like to meet and I am almost willing to, but I need to make sure it is because I actually am interested in her and not just in what's waiting in her pants.
Lastly, I have always had this shameless crush on a girl who hosts a local TV show. Viewers participate in this "talk/game show" via text messages and I've become a regular participant. In fact, when I end up taking a break from the show (because I can't afford too many text messages) and then come back, I can see this host's face light up. I haven't been shy at all about flirting with her, I pretty much make sure every message I send in is a compliment, a slight innuendo, or anything else I can think of to get this girl to smile, laugh, blush, or see that I am quite taken with her.
She always has tons of nice things to say and jokes back with me, she's said how she loves me and how she's missed me while I was taking a break from the show. She's made comments about how she wants to have my babies and has even been reduced to just smiling when I make some comment. If this was real life, one would assume she was totally into me, but this is TV and I know there has got to be a more logical reason for her positive reception to my woos.
Other viewers who seem to like her as well, end up getting similar responses from her. Nothing she's said to me hasn't been said to anyone else, so I think she's being coached to be as nice and alluring as she can so more people will text in. I am embarrassed to admit I get jealous when other guys send in messages that are flirtations, but I know she has to be nice to everyone.
After taking a long break from the show, it does get expensive after awhile, I decided to drop in and send in some messages. As soon as this girl saw I sent in something, she just went silent and then started gushing over the fact that I was back. I heard how much she missed me and the usual stuff like that, and of course I was tempted to keep talking. I mentioned how I was still single and joked that a couple gift cards I had won from the show for free massages would fit perfectly into a nice date night for her and I. Somewhere along the line, the hostess said something that almost sounded like her giving in and accepting my offer for a date.
I decided to just play it cool after that, but I sent her a message on Facebook and told her how I am only half joking when I flirt with her. I do find her funny and beautiful and very appealing, but I understand how there's bound to be policies against her and the other hosts of the show from getting involved with the viewers. I told her that I appreciated the fact that she had just as much fun with our flirting as I did and how it made it worth the price of texting in all the time.
Her response was very positive and she said how she missed seeing me a lot. She said how she always enjoys my messages and how polite I always am. I am not horribly crude like some guys are and send her messages that blatantly appraise her breasts, I may think certain things, but I keep it to myself. Essentially, this girl seemed very pleased to her from me, but I also got the vibe that it was also a standard, "Thanks for watching.", response.
So, I have three women in my life, all whom I've never met, but am interested in all the same. One girl seems really great but is in love with another guy and just wants to be friends with me, be it just for now or for good. Another girl seems to be very aggressive and forward and I can't help but think my interest back is based only on sex, which means no hope for a meaningful relationship. Lastly, I have a huge crush on a girl who I have no real bead on. I can't tell if she's interested back or just being nice.
Short of me meeting a Suicide Girl who loves geeky and indecisive boys like me, I am not sure who is going to be right for me and if I have even met her yet. Like I said, life is frustrating sometimes.
morie:
I think you might be looking in some of the wrong places, my dear. There are tons of women who love nerdy guys; I'm dating a pretty big nerd myself. I've never seen much success with online dating services, but who knows. There's someone out there for everyone, the world is too big for there not to be. :o)