theuberdork

update on the female situation follows...



well apparently now she dosen't even want to be fuck buddies...

but before I get into that we all hung out last night, I took her to her friends that were gathering... who I am becomming friends with... anyhow she snubbed me pretty much all night for her friend... *our* friend "jimmy" as soon as he showed up she was like all over him, despite claiming that she has no interest in him and if I so much as tried to joke around or be playful she got all snippy and stuff... so effff that... we had to move our little party elsewhere soon and so we went to this other chicks house... the "wagon trail" ditched me at a red... so I was like fine y'know what I'm tired of her shit and decided to just drive like all the way home... however I saw jimmy's car stopped sticking out of this street near mine so I turned up it and they were waiting how nice... someone must have called the lead to let them know gee thanks.

then we drive around... turns out we were going to this place I knew that was only like 5 or 6 houses away from mine... fuckin' morons ... if they woulda told me the street I would have been oh yea cool I'll meet you there it's like 2 houses down from my house (the street) anyhow we get there then she deciedes she's gonna sleep over at this other chick's house so she has jimmy take her to get a change of clothes and stuff ... not me. thanks hon I can see clear as day who you want to be with. so a few other of the girls and myself go outside to smoke, however they had a bowl in mind and I had a cigarette... had a couple hits off of it ...that was some pretty dense chron too... anyhow so I was a little stonedededed... but it wore off within like a few hours since I only had a couple hits... anyhow they had finally returned and we started this sexual/drink game minus the drinks (shots) some board game called tru-dare or something (alot like truth or dare... duh) lots of personal questions and strange things to do.... we played a couple rounds... jimmy and sarah didn't play... but when we started the next round jimmy decided to take off... and for some reason sarah went out to the car with him ... oh yea to "get her stuff" she was out there for a good solid hour... probably more. then came back in and was all upset that we didn't include her cause she asked... I was just thinkin well gee you were out there for like an hour and a half and it's going on 1 already did you really plan on us waiting for you?) anyhow we get kicked out around 2 and decide to go to dennys... there was some drama with this girl vanessa thinking we don't like her or something.... I don't really know...

sarah decides she'll come with me to dennys... one of the guys had to take his girlfriend home ( yea right I think they went to go make with the love or something ) and the other car had to drop a couple people off... so we got to denny's all early... sat in the car and I didn't say a fucking thing... maybe that way she'd understand I'm upset... I think she got the idea... she started doing her make up... when she finished it looked retarded... she had these lines on her lips ... she apparently did on purpose... but it was like green or something it looked horrid)

she kept trying to make eye contact but I'd just look away snub her like she snubbed me just hours before...

then when the other 2 people showed up we went in and spent a good long while deciding what to do. the other 2 weren't really too hungry... anyhow we all decide to sit down (baisically denny's was having there carpets and upholstry cleaned) so they had to set up a special table for us. we sit down and sarah well basically blows up at me... and bashes me the whole time... their plans weren't really thought out but I offer for sarah to sleep over at my place... either in the other room or just wherever... could turn out to be a nice romantic even intimate night.... she's like "NO!!!!" then when she realizes she dosen't have a ride home from this other girls she decides it might be nice to "snuggle" with me. okay okay so we all leave. NOW HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART:

when sarah was blowing up on me her ... everyone was just DEAD silent... AWKWARD silence... very awkward.... we all started to walk out and sarah went to the bathroom... and her friends kind of apologized for her, and were like "I don't understand how you put up with that" or why maybe they said why... I think they said I can't believe you put up with that... yea well guess I really am that afraid of becoming a hermit for the rest of my life. Earlier in the evening jimmy mentioned to me that he and her were talking about me and that she showed him our online conversations... and he was like "yea even I told her she's leading you(me) on, and sending mixed signals" he made me swear not to say he told me that... but it's true at least 2 or 3 other people at least know I'm not the crazy one... and that I'm not doing anything wrong, SHE is.

anyhow we lay down and kinda kiss a bit then she's like aww I'm too tired and just kinda goes limp... uhm okay... fine so we try to sleep ... she said she was freezing but I was sweating a storm.... so I dunno wtf she's talking about.

I took her home and she yet again tried to explain that she just wants to be friends but that she thinks "snuggling" and "cuddling" with her friends is okay... which it's not not to me, I don't cuddle with my friends... I mean unless I REALLY know this person and they know me and are of the opposite sex.. (like nat whom which none of you know, and I haven't seen in months and months) and even then we didn't really "snuggle" or kiss or anything but we were comfortable being close. her conception of reality is skewed ... twisted....

and I can take comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one that sees that, even if she dosen't.

oh she just IM'd me: "u seem to know all about my friends... what is justines IM?" like fuck if I would know I don't talk to this friend, I don't care for this friend too much... she's kind of a bitch... and has this attitude that she's all that and a bag of chips when I really don't think she is... anyhow not important... but yea she's like "you know my friends better than I do so neh!!!"

like wtf.

I blocked her.... maybe when she realizes she fucked up I'll give her the time of day then... maybe.

she's like "why don't my friends like me?" oh I dunno maybe cause you badmouth every single one of them at one point or another? duh.

this friend of hers eric she's whining about now baisically told her he never wants to speak to her again... and blames it on his girlfriend... but from what she explained it sounds pretty blatant that he just dosen't want to speak to her again and was too chicken shit so he used his girlfriend as a scapegoat...

arg!!! no one will read this... but I want to fucking smash and destroy something beautiful.