For the first time since I have been born I am living alone. It isn't a permanent issue. Just a temporary as my wife is away in Japan with our 8 month year old daughter. This is the first time in my life I am going to be alone for an extended period of time. Ever since I was born I have always lived with someone. Stayed with my family until I was 24. I joined the Marine Corps. Then I have had a room mate when I live in the Barracks. Then I lived with my wife. Now, I am alone for a whole month and I am in shock. I know this can seem childish or maybe juvenile to a lot of people. The idea to be alone and with myself frightens me. I don't have distractions. I don't have excuses. It is on me to either succeed or fail.
It is in this that I try to better myself over my demons. Or maybe that I try to better myself to my other self. I was told by another individual, that I confided in, that this is a little harder than I thought. He told me the trick was to find yourself something to obsess about. That he found to throw himself in his own physical fitness. Something to focus and find calm in. I didn't think that was a bad idea. Since I am in the military that I need to focus on myself and I have been getting too relaxed with the my physical fitness. I can use this time to hard reset my mind and body. That I can use this time to better myself and become a better person for my daughter. In fitness (to see her wedding), in discipline (To be a father that she can be proud of), in work ethic (to place my family in a better position every day) and in self love (to prove to myself and her that it is possible) these are the things I need to work on myself for her.
It is easy to fall down a slide. The motion carries it self and in doing so there is so little effort that needs to be done. I find that in life the mental attitude or physical nature of it is true in such a frighting fashion. That a negative attitude will carry and bring you down. That not working out one day becomes not working out tomorrow. That is why this time I can fall down the slide and end in a place worse then where I was before. Or... I can fight my way back to the top of this slide. With effort...I can make this a chance for me to better myself. I have a lot to reflect on and a lot of time. I will choose to fight the ease, the gravity of the slide and struggle up. It is best thing for me, my wife and my daughter.
