I hopped on the scale today and was surprised to finally see how much I dropped. I used to be over 300 pounds. It was a hard time. I was the chubby boy who was desperate and lonely. I wanted and needed attention from any person I could.
Today, I hopped on that scale and found myself at the smaller end of 210. My scale told me I was 209. That's over 90 pounds lost. I figured out last night that with terrible form I could do a pull up. I have not new able to do that since I could remember in elementary school. I would play on the jungle gym and just fly around like a crazed monkey. I loved it.
Life is not that simple anymore. It's a blurred mess of responsibilities, love loss, and hard work. My mother has just recently quit her job and is now struggling to find work at the age of 50. My brother is special ed and turned 21. I wonder if he will ever grow but I love him the way he is. With those two responsibilities my father and I have to work now to help the family wherever we can. Despite the both of us hating our respective jobs.
I wish things were as simple as they were when I was a kid. Then I realize I would just be hiding from realities. I will continue to work hard for my family and work hard for improvement of my self. I'm very close to being able to join the military. Just a few more months and I will be able to enlist. Send most of the money I earn back to my family for support.
Is it strange that I find it easier to spill my guts on my iPhone then it is at my keyboard?
Oh, one more thing. I used to need a gym buddy to workout. I don't need that anymore. So, um, fuck you I did this all on my own. No gym buddy, no personal trainer, no fad diets. Just all me. There is real strength in being alone. I just need to remember that.
