The thing about finding new beauty marks is that I don't feel any prettier after discovering them. I have like ten of these fuckers and I just get uglier as I get older. Which begs me to think that someone up there is trying to tell me something. God is my new metaphor for life's irony.
Here's the news: I've been spreading my recreational assets a bit thin. But something has been happening lately that hasn't happened in quite a while and it's kinda freakin me out. People are paying me the money they owe me. One after the other, they just keep comin to me with the cash. I've gotten 55 bucks(which I already blew most of) since last wednesday and the last just called me sayin to come over and get what he owes me. It's like they all got together and one of em says, "You know what would be a crazy idea?"
"Starting a cult that worships chocolate bunny candies."
"Noooo. Okay yes, that's crazy... And delicious. But I'm talking about paying Manny back."
"I like the cult idea better."
"Yeah, me too.... What was I talking about again?"
"Paying the weird black guy the money we owe him, you fuckin tool."
"Oh yeah, no that's a better idea now."
"No it isn't."
"Shut up, yes it is! Listen, we give him the money, right? And so since we paid him back, it'll do like some twisty kinda reverse psychology shit on him and he'll want to do more favors for us, right? And then, THEN we'll say we can't pay him right after the job again, so THEN he'll wait even longer THIS time cause we actually paid him LAST time! THAT way, we don't have to pay him for, like, fuckin EVER! Huh? Huh? How's that sliced cannabis for ya, BIOTCH?"
"It won't work."
"No, it will dude. Trust me. I'm, like, a genius and shit."
"The only time you ever sound like a genius is when we are getting weasel-faced on narcotics. "
Later, when they are weasel-faced on narcotics...
"Alright, lets do it."
"Sweetness."
And that's the only rational explanation they're paying me back, cause I sure as hell wouldn't pay me back. Lord knows I don't do shit about anything unless it's a priority. Then again, it could be my BIF.
(black intimidation factor)
I'm never too sure how much I have until I start unintentionally threatning people. PIC: everytime they see me and say that they'll get the money soon and I tell them to shut the fuck up about it until they actually do. I'm basically saying take as much time as you need to get whatever and they're still mildly freaking out anyway. Better than the alternative I suppose.
In a somewhat unrelated story, I think I almost threw my back out from sitting down on a fucking bed. And right after the "you're actually retarded" commercial, family guy broke into my top 10 shows list.
I think this is a good place to stop. Yes...
Ok, here.
Here's the news: I've been spreading my recreational assets a bit thin. But something has been happening lately that hasn't happened in quite a while and it's kinda freakin me out. People are paying me the money they owe me. One after the other, they just keep comin to me with the cash. I've gotten 55 bucks(which I already blew most of) since last wednesday and the last just called me sayin to come over and get what he owes me. It's like they all got together and one of em says, "You know what would be a crazy idea?"
"Starting a cult that worships chocolate bunny candies."
"Noooo. Okay yes, that's crazy... And delicious. But I'm talking about paying Manny back."
"I like the cult idea better."
"Yeah, me too.... What was I talking about again?"
"Paying the weird black guy the money we owe him, you fuckin tool."
"Oh yeah, no that's a better idea now."
"No it isn't."
"Shut up, yes it is! Listen, we give him the money, right? And so since we paid him back, it'll do like some twisty kinda reverse psychology shit on him and he'll want to do more favors for us, right? And then, THEN we'll say we can't pay him right after the job again, so THEN he'll wait even longer THIS time cause we actually paid him LAST time! THAT way, we don't have to pay him for, like, fuckin EVER! Huh? Huh? How's that sliced cannabis for ya, BIOTCH?"
"It won't work."
"No, it will dude. Trust me. I'm, like, a genius and shit."
"The only time you ever sound like a genius is when we are getting weasel-faced on narcotics. "
Later, when they are weasel-faced on narcotics...
"Alright, lets do it."
"Sweetness."
And that's the only rational explanation they're paying me back, cause I sure as hell wouldn't pay me back. Lord knows I don't do shit about anything unless it's a priority. Then again, it could be my BIF.
(black intimidation factor)
I'm never too sure how much I have until I start unintentionally threatning people. PIC: everytime they see me and say that they'll get the money soon and I tell them to shut the fuck up about it until they actually do. I'm basically saying take as much time as you need to get whatever and they're still mildly freaking out anyway. Better than the alternative I suppose.
In a somewhat unrelated story, I think I almost threw my back out from sitting down on a fucking bed. And right after the "you're actually retarded" commercial, family guy broke into my top 10 shows list.
I think this is a good place to stop. Yes...
Ok, here.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
or maybe I'm just having too much fun picturing you as a goth.
orrrrr.. whatever. if I were one to say "you rock my world" I would probably do that in this case.
but I'm not. so I won't. ahem.