Yes. 6:35am. No offense but I need to do some journal work as well. I woke before the birds hearing only the trucks. maybe I woke the birds. A nice change. I can see Eos rhododactylos but I am Erigeneia.
"That brightest of stars appeared, Eosphoros, that most often heralds the light of early-rising Dawn (Eos Erigeneia)."
Odyssey 13.93
Anyway had it out a little with my roomate last night. Some of my good lines were, "Shut the fuck up" and "'ll clock you in your dome." I still have two things to get off my chest with him which are how much he pissed me off when he doubted me as a writer and tried to tell me about my depression. We talked through last night mostly from my rather well honed communication skills (hey thats how it is, I am not bragging here, it is just the way it is) so as time passes I hesitate more and more to unload my chest onto his chest regarding the two things he never should have said to me.
I mean we all like to win arguments but more improtant is the resolution and communication not the victory. Or rather both people can win. And when someone starts grabbing for things they think they7 can win at instead of staying on subject, well it gets a little frustrateing. Same if someone won't not start an argument. Thats how it started last night. And also annoying if they will not concede a simple point. We are all guilty but my roommate is a little more aflicted thn other people I know. Course I do see alot more of him. So thats fun but
I am trying and succeding in spots to bring my life (cliche topic and paragrapgh I know) in line with the something or other. Rise early check. Write for hours. not yet a check. immaculate room, not a check.
As a dishwasher you have alot of time to think and it is funny what you think about. yes.
I am showered and sitting here naked. I am trying to masturbate alot less. Not because I think it is bad but because of how much time it eats. I can't keep feeding it time. So I starve it. I'd really like some sex, I think I got a little spoiled these past few months. I looked at the nutrition panel and couldn't afford all that with my diet- tourtured analogy. I am not sure if I should go back to recreational sex in the same way I was doing it before. The expression of my sexuality is an issue for me. I am changing things but I don't know how I feel about that. I hate the game very much. The confluence of nature and nurutre is often bullshit in regards to sex. The ol' "an't seem to like her too much". Girls spook easy. If I meet a good one (varying degrees, I had a high water mark recently) then I explore them and get distracted from the sex. I should say compatible instead of good. If I meet an incompatible but sexually availible girl well in the past I would pitched recreational sex with clear boundaries and open honest communication. Safer that way. The operation can be disatisafying to both parties but to keep all the unsaid can get emotionaly dangerous (this does not refer to the high water mark) for both parties but more dangerous for the girl. I don't like to cause pain so I err on the side of caution and lay it out.
I think a solution is not to chase girls but with the internets it is SO fucking easy. Idle hands you know. Looking around, typing a little and the habit of the myspace crops up and suddenly I am planting seeds of wit in people's inboxes. Not much grows, a question of percentages and I hate the game. I hate and perversly enjoy it at the same time. Multi faceted.
All of this should be in my journal and I don't mean cut and paste. I would be difernt in my journal but perhaps more easyily distracted.
tl;dr and such. Hope you all are well. I am going to see God of Hell tonight if the tipout is right.
Ben
-
hah what shitty spelling there is above.Tip out was good so I am going to God of Hell in a bit. I love the incessant narcisism of posting on here and other places on the internets. speaking of the internet(s):
http://wearetheweb.org/
check it out. Tron Guy, Peter Pan and the sweater girl. And some B3ta stuff as well. Save the internet(s) from corporate beasters.
"That brightest of stars appeared, Eosphoros, that most often heralds the light of early-rising Dawn (Eos Erigeneia)."
Odyssey 13.93
Anyway had it out a little with my roomate last night. Some of my good lines were, "Shut the fuck up" and "'ll clock you in your dome." I still have two things to get off my chest with him which are how much he pissed me off when he doubted me as a writer and tried to tell me about my depression. We talked through last night mostly from my rather well honed communication skills (hey thats how it is, I am not bragging here, it is just the way it is) so as time passes I hesitate more and more to unload my chest onto his chest regarding the two things he never should have said to me.
I mean we all like to win arguments but more improtant is the resolution and communication not the victory. Or rather both people can win. And when someone starts grabbing for things they think they7 can win at instead of staying on subject, well it gets a little frustrateing. Same if someone won't not start an argument. Thats how it started last night. And also annoying if they will not concede a simple point. We are all guilty but my roommate is a little more aflicted thn other people I know. Course I do see alot more of him. So thats fun but
I am trying and succeding in spots to bring my life (cliche topic and paragrapgh I know) in line with the something or other. Rise early check. Write for hours. not yet a check. immaculate room, not a check.
As a dishwasher you have alot of time to think and it is funny what you think about. yes.
I am showered and sitting here naked. I am trying to masturbate alot less. Not because I think it is bad but because of how much time it eats. I can't keep feeding it time. So I starve it. I'd really like some sex, I think I got a little spoiled these past few months. I looked at the nutrition panel and couldn't afford all that with my diet- tourtured analogy. I am not sure if I should go back to recreational sex in the same way I was doing it before. The expression of my sexuality is an issue for me. I am changing things but I don't know how I feel about that. I hate the game very much. The confluence of nature and nurutre is often bullshit in regards to sex. The ol' "an't seem to like her too much". Girls spook easy. If I meet a good one (varying degrees, I had a high water mark recently) then I explore them and get distracted from the sex. I should say compatible instead of good. If I meet an incompatible but sexually availible girl well in the past I would pitched recreational sex with clear boundaries and open honest communication. Safer that way. The operation can be disatisafying to both parties but to keep all the unsaid can get emotionaly dangerous (this does not refer to the high water mark) for both parties but more dangerous for the girl. I don't like to cause pain so I err on the side of caution and lay it out.
I think a solution is not to chase girls but with the internets it is SO fucking easy. Idle hands you know. Looking around, typing a little and the habit of the myspace crops up and suddenly I am planting seeds of wit in people's inboxes. Not much grows, a question of percentages and I hate the game. I hate and perversly enjoy it at the same time. Multi faceted.
All of this should be in my journal and I don't mean cut and paste. I would be difernt in my journal but perhaps more easyily distracted.
tl;dr and such. Hope you all are well. I am going to see God of Hell tonight if the tipout is right.
Ben
-
hah what shitty spelling there is above.Tip out was good so I am going to God of Hell in a bit. I love the incessant narcisism of posting on here and other places on the internets. speaking of the internet(s):
http://wearetheweb.org/
check it out. Tron Guy, Peter Pan and the sweater girl. And some B3ta stuff as well. Save the internet(s) from corporate beasters.