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Due to scheduling conflicts, our regularly scheduled programming of "Steve's Journal" has been moved. You can catch it at about mid page. Now stay tuned for an exciting offer from Indentured Servants LLC
-The following is a paid commercial advertisement. The views and opinions expresed by no means reflect those shared by we here at Steve's Journal Unlimited.

Career Week!
To celebrate career week, Indentured Servants LLC is offering this limited time offer. Are you tired of your normal routine? Sick of being an "individual"? Has making your own decisions been getting you down? Do you think puppies or kittens are cute? If you said yes to any one of these questions, then we've got an opportunity for you! Yes, that's right, I.S. LLC is offering you a chance to become a Personal Servitude Engineer for none other than Steve M, founder and sole employee of I.S. LLC!

Our team is looking for someone with any combination of the following charecteristics.

- Prompt
- Dependable
- Trustworthy
- Honest
- A real "go-getter"
- A "bring backer once it's been got"
- Gullibility
- and perhaps most importantly, a low sense of self worth

I you feel that you are the embodyment of these qualities, then we're looking for you! Special consideration will be given to applicants who believe reading is evil, or make damn good coffee.

For imediate consideration, submit a resume in blood to Steve M, 5225 Blakeslee Ave, North Hollywood, CA 91601. If we like you, we will ask you to write a series of short stories involving a duck and a walrus who get into a territory dispute. Each story must be different, and each should end in some form of a cross country murder spree. The word "gumball" must be mentioned exactly 572 times, but it must not be obvious that you're re-using the word.

If your stories are aproved, you will be flown first class to LA* where you will be asked to do an interpritave dance based on the painting "The Flea" by William Blake. Props for this performance art will be a jar of peanut butter, a dead squirell**, and a badminton shuttlecock.

If selected to procede, you will be directed to Steve's apartment. Make it there alive, and the job is yours. But be warned.... There will be surprises.

Once employed, you will be paid in ego minnies. Quantity varying dependent on Steve's mood. You must not look Steve in the eye, and should refrain from speaking to him in anything more than grunts unless specifically asked to provide a compliment. Benefits include: Residence in Steve's linen closet, Chew toys that squeek when you bite them, monthy showers from the garden hose, and the priveledge of toucking Steve's hand twice a year.

So apply now, and see what the future holds for you!






Welcome To Another Edition Of Steve's Journal
"Steve's Journal. Read it, or die trying."

The Good News!
So, I started work tuesday. Hooray for me! I'm training to be a "Specimen Resolution Coordinator" at Specialty Labs. They add "coordinator" on to my title to make it sound fancy. My job will be to take samples that have problems (incorect patient name, sample leaked, incorrect tube, etc.) and fix the problem. Usually by coordinating with the hospital or client who sent the specimen. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Until then though, I'm training with the Client Services department. Answering questions from clients, looking up results, giving price information, crap like that. It's supposed to be a 2 week training period. There's two other trainees there too, and all they've been doing was listening in on the phone conversations or their respective trainers. My trainer is cool though, she had me jump right in and start taking calls on day 2. So since I pick up pretty fast, I'm ahead of the game now, and they said they'de sign off on me Monday. That means I can get to my actual department sooner, and I'll be on the graveyard shift within a week or so. Sweet. The night time is the right time.

The Bad News!
I'm out of money..... again. I don't get paid until friday. My parents had to wire me cash for rent and gas money. I fucking despise borrowing money. Or asking help in anything, for that matter. Plus, as a result of me not having money, and Bank of Americas strict policy of bad customer service and slow wire transfers, I didn't get the money from my parents in time to buy gas. So I couldn't get home from work Thursday night, and my phone died while I was trying to figure out where my money wire was. Guess who got to sleep in their truck outside of work the other night? That's right, it was me. You're so smart. That sucked. To prevent questions on why I was wearing the same shirt 2 days in a row, I wore my jacket all day. Now I'm probably known as "That new guy who smells like he slept in his truck and wore the same clothes the next day". Which is not the impression I was going for when I first got the job.

The Ugly News!
I'm moving. On the 19th of this month. I'm not sure where I'm moving, but I am. I've known for a while that Sam and Heather wanted to get a place together, and they were going to give me a months notice. But aparently they decided that 18 days was sufficient. So now I have to move, and I have no money for a security deposit. Which sucks, because I know from experience that the back seat of my truck is uncomfortable. I'll have to find a place to crash until I can hook up a studio apartment. Then I'll stay in a studio until I can hook up a decent place. I'm hoping to have a 1 bedroom apartment by mid march, but it's late february that's going to be a bitch.

Todays Toon

Isn't that just like a cop? They sure know how to ruin a good time.

Friend Of The Day!
Say hello to buttonbutton, the member who took me to the event that got me into SGLA! She makes a great DD, but is equally as cool to hang out with when she's wasted! So drop her a comment in her journal, or stop by the North Hollywood library to say hi. You'll wonder why you hadn't sooner, because she's a great friend to have.

FOTD Archive
And don't forget to drop LieLock and Oddyophile a line too. If you're pissed that you haven't made the FOTD list yet, be calm... I'm probably just saving you for a specail occasion. Oh, but I will accept bribes. I just wanted to get that out on the table. I'm not pushing it or anything, but.... you know, just keep it in mind.

What I've Been Listening To

the Methadones-Ill At Ease
I'm not sure what to call them... Softcore punk maybe? Their song don't have a lot of punch, but they're friggin repeat-in-your-head-till-you-scream catchy. Good, or annoying.... You decide.


Mad Sin-Amphigory
Mad Sin rocks the way a psychobilly band should. I've always thought of psychobilly bands as Elvis fans, who watched too many Ed Wood flicks. Like The Misfits meets a a coked out Brian Stetzer from his Stray Cats days. Mad Sin doesn't disapoint.

The Last Flic I Watched

Dead Man
One of my all time favorites. I love this movie, and yet it had some horrible reviews. This probably has a lot to do with the fact that movie critics have no fucking taste. As evidenced by the fact that most people agree with them... and most people have no fucking taste.

This Never Really Happened
The hardest part about being me, is having to deal with the paparazzi. So I treasure every opportunity to get away. Take, for instance, my recent descent into the underworld. It was only a short trip- I had to recover a gambling debt owed to me by Hades- but I was very excited to have some time away. I didn't take much with me, just a change of clothes, grooming devices and my trench knife. Oh, I wasn't planning on stabbing anyone. At leastt not on this trip. But Hades can be a very stubborn bastard, and the attached set of brass knuckles on the trench knife would come in handy. He was into me for 5,000 D-Marks that he and that bastard Dr. Gobles lost to Ronny Reagan and I my last time down. We'd been playing a game of spades, and Ronnie and I ran a boston on the poor saps the second hand. They were understandably pissed. Gobles paid up right away, because he's a little bitch, and knows I'd kick his ass in a heartbeat. But Hades just went on about, "Oh, I'll get it to you," and "Daimon still owes me," and blah blah blah.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Hades is a god of the underworld, right? And isn't a set of brass knuckles a foolish thing to wield against a god? Well, given the advent of the Judeo-Christian religions, belief polytheism has grealy diminished. Leaving guys like Hades relatively powerless. A condition worsened by his addictions to gambling, fairy dust, and peach snapps (usually all in conjunction, which helps explain his spades defeat... plus Gobles is a little bitch).

So, I caught the first flight out on a giant winged marmot. I got to the gates, and who did I run into? None other than good ol' Anubis. Man, it had been a while since Noobee and I had shot the shit. So he invited me back to his place. I met his new wife, and his baby boy, Rover. Imagine that. Anubis, a family man. Christ, the stories I've got about that guy. Did you know he makes the best french toast ever? He marinates homeade bread overnight in the fridge, then cooks it in the morning. Plus, I think he adds a bit of apricot. Damn good stuff. But, back to my story. I was talking to Noobs, and he gave me the scoop on Hades. Apparently, the little weasle heard I was coming for him, and headed topside. He's been masquerading as Phil Collins for the past month. Not surprising. I've been mistaking the two for each other for years. Remind me to tell you about the time I stabbed Phil by mistake. He's still pissed about that one.

So, I crashed at Noobee's place for the night, and then had to wade back across the river of the damned in the morning (the winged marmots don't operate on Sunday, I don't know, some religious thing). Once topside, I headed for Phil's place. I was nearly there too, but that's when I was attacked by lobsters. Thankfully, I had my trench knife. And that's why I bought the 800 sticks of butter. The end.

I had to end that one any way possible, otherwise it would have just gone on and on. Your welcome.

Randomly Placed Humerous Image


Factoids About Steve
- I've just decided that I dislike the nonword factoid
- I mentioned this in Oddyophile's journal, but I find it interesting about myself. I love and apreciate music, movies, literature, theatre and many other thing, but not paintings. I don't know why. I love photography, but not paintings. It's different when it's a friend's artwork, because I know them. It provides some incite, and I can apreciate it. But as for other painters, there are only two who's work I admire. William Blake, and Dali. This is only because I've read enough about them to better understand their work. When it comes to Michaelangelo, Picaso, Van Gohe... Meh, fuck 'em.
- I love irony. I hate those who misuse the word
- I also love sarcasm. Not so much when it's directed towards me, though.
- I write long annoying journal entries with no effort or planning, yet I can't sit down and write anything worthwhile.
- I'm my own worst enemy. Actually, as far as I'm aware, I'm my only enemy.

Random Rambling
No Random Rambling this update, I think it's probably gone on long enough. Thank you, and good night.







*Aplicants must pay for their own airfair.
**Dead squirells will not be provided, please supply your own.