Eh, I'm drunk. Decided to come on back. Some of y'all don't suck. As if I'm one to judge anyway. I was going through a pretty rough patch in my life, still am. I start college on wensday. I'm pretty excited.
Okay, it's 12 hours later and I'm sober. I need to stop riding my Vespa drunk. It's fun going 100 down the freeway on my prissy pretty pony, even better when people underestimate her and I speed pass them giving the finger. It's just humiliating and glorious. But yeah, I need stop. So yup, survived and had delicious tacos.
I found my perfect jeans: Levi's 514s. I went to the outlet store and they sell them for like 20 bucks. Win!
I've been seeing a therapist. I'm seeing a psychiatrist to get a med eval by this one guy from last time that thought I was gay because I told him about my sex life. I'm not gay - or bi - and I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, I'm just not gay. He also thought I needed ritalin or that, and I quote, "going to fuck up in school and I don't want to see you fuck up, because you're going to fuck up," thanks, Doc. "Oh, and how do you spell McCarthy?" "um... (seriously?) MC... Carthy?". But yeah! Get to see him again. The girlfriend recommended Lexapro because it worked for her, and apparently it's better than Paxil. I've taken... a lot of meds in my day. Thanks, Army. My hair is thinning and I've lost 25 pounds in the past 3 months. I'm so stressed out about my future, about everything. I've also increasingly become more suicidal and the 45 in the closet calls my name a lot. I named him Schwarzgeist. Cheer up, Emo Kid.
Things are still rough with the girlfriend but I think things are starting to get better. I hate being away from her all the time. I think a lot of the problems we have are because I love and miss her too much. Oh yeah, her family hates me. Things are a mess.
But yeah, since it's been a minute. Christmas was alright. Nothing really special. It was just good to be home for christmas since the Army had my ass for six years. New Years was good. My girlfriend came up. We drove to Sacramento and went to the drive in. Saw True Grit and the Fighter. On our way back to Santa Rosa we stopped on the freeway to watch the fireworks before we left sac. It was nice. The next day we were supposed to go see Pinback at bottom of the hill in San Francisco, but we ended up staying in PJs, eating round table pizza, watching movies and cuddling all day. One of the best days I have ever had. Actually, I can't remember the last time I was so content.
I haven't smoked cigarettes in two weeks. I think I'm doing pretty good. God I want a fucking cigarette. I hate when my girlfriend is on cam and smokes a cigarette, or she'll tell me she's gunna have a smoke. I don't get pissed or anything, I'm just like.. ugh, I want one, babe. LOL
So it goes
Okay, it's 12 hours later and I'm sober. I need to stop riding my Vespa drunk. It's fun going 100 down the freeway on my prissy pretty pony, even better when people underestimate her and I speed pass them giving the finger. It's just humiliating and glorious. But yeah, I need stop. So yup, survived and had delicious tacos.
I found my perfect jeans: Levi's 514s. I went to the outlet store and they sell them for like 20 bucks. Win!
I've been seeing a therapist. I'm seeing a psychiatrist to get a med eval by this one guy from last time that thought I was gay because I told him about my sex life. I'm not gay - or bi - and I don't think there's anything wrong with being gay, I'm just not gay. He also thought I needed ritalin or that, and I quote, "going to fuck up in school and I don't want to see you fuck up, because you're going to fuck up," thanks, Doc. "Oh, and how do you spell McCarthy?" "um... (seriously?) MC... Carthy?". But yeah! Get to see him again. The girlfriend recommended Lexapro because it worked for her, and apparently it's better than Paxil. I've taken... a lot of meds in my day. Thanks, Army. My hair is thinning and I've lost 25 pounds in the past 3 months. I'm so stressed out about my future, about everything. I've also increasingly become more suicidal and the 45 in the closet calls my name a lot. I named him Schwarzgeist. Cheer up, Emo Kid.
Things are still rough with the girlfriend but I think things are starting to get better. I hate being away from her all the time. I think a lot of the problems we have are because I love and miss her too much. Oh yeah, her family hates me. Things are a mess.
But yeah, since it's been a minute. Christmas was alright. Nothing really special. It was just good to be home for christmas since the Army had my ass for six years. New Years was good. My girlfriend came up. We drove to Sacramento and went to the drive in. Saw True Grit and the Fighter. On our way back to Santa Rosa we stopped on the freeway to watch the fireworks before we left sac. It was nice. The next day we were supposed to go see Pinback at bottom of the hill in San Francisco, but we ended up staying in PJs, eating round table pizza, watching movies and cuddling all day. One of the best days I have ever had. Actually, I can't remember the last time I was so content.
I haven't smoked cigarettes in two weeks. I think I'm doing pretty good. God I want a fucking cigarette. I hate when my girlfriend is on cam and smokes a cigarette, or she'll tell me she's gunna have a smoke. I don't get pissed or anything, I'm just like.. ugh, I want one, babe. LOL
So it goes
niobe:
Nice to hear from you again.