I enjoy taking pictures with my phone. Total hobbyist. Taking pictures leaves me at odds with myself sometimes. Those times where I forget that I am a fluid creature that doesn't have to always be one way or another. That I can change and over a day, or an hour be more into one of my aspects than another. What gets thought about is that pictures are far too permanent to be true to my appeal towards impermanence. The pictures can stir up Fernweh if I am not careful in observing myself. Taking me too far away from where I am. Watching myself for these situations is something, if not new, feeling new to me. Watching others is old hat, observing folks walking in the mall or down the shopping district is something I've been doing for years since studying massage. A gait or a lean and thinking about their lives. Building characters in my head that I can use in my storytelling at some point as well as testing my anatomy. But all this, as well as all the countless regrets that I have piled up over years and years, those things I wish I'd said, or not said, things I wished I had or not done... the list inexhaustible. What I'm realizing now is all of that mire was there to be turned into fertile soil for something amazing, something beautiful, and something unique. I'm these mushrooms, having been sitting in the slow decay, working my way up, waiting for the rain to come to the surface and show myself. That insight from last blog, about everything having to have happened exactly as it had, it's given me understanding of things I couldn't before comprehend and now feel I can empathize. Just have to keep tending now.
BTW Does anyone know which species of mushroom this is?
Next Wednesday is the last full moon before Samhain, and I plan to light a fire if the weather permits, or at least some candles if it's less than cooperative. I want to try and close the loops on this row of my tapestry, going into the end of the year with the confidence that I've been fostering, and enjoy the things I enjoy, including Halloween =)
I hope everyone has what they need, and can borrow those things they need to cover the shortfalls. Thank you all for such a wonderful community to be a part of.
K.
