theravenking

Heart Surgeon


My fingers push against my

chest

and sink slowly into my

flesh

I wrap them round my beating

heart

and tug

there is a sucking sound as I rip it

out

I place it on a silver tray between a tiny silver

blade

and silver tweezers and begin the painful

surgery

scraping off and digging out the

pieces

of you imbedded there

So deep

to the very core.

I don't want to do it...

but you're

killing me

I don't want to be alone

forever

and as long as you are the

main

ingredient in the recipe of me

I will never find love or

happiness

Losing you is a pain which I

cannot

survive twice

I notice there is no hatred

for me to amputate

as I

remove the regret gently from my most tender spot

pieces of you stretch out like veins of gold in a mountain

No matter how delicate and minute the movements

how sharp

and precise the blade

There are pieces of you that will be in me

forever

Affecting how I choose my new love, how I make love,

who I am

(who am I?)

I try not to remove pieces of myself in the process

but it's hard to differentiate between what part belongs to who

This is a demanding operation

it can make me a vegetable if I cut to deeply

If I am successful though

I can live and

love

the good times can become a thing to look

forward to

not look back upon