The busier I get, the faster time flies.
Daylight savings and November. I have never been so studious with my school work since I was at Mudd, and even now I am much more dedicated, passionate, and rigorous about studying now. My goal is straight A's.
I'm taking statistics, data structures, and this boring class called intro to computer organization. Stuff about how memory and buses and chips are controlled. It can be interesting, but its mostly very dry.
On the other hand, statistics is useful and intriguing. I got to write a maze generator/solver and a computer game AI for my other class. So, things are fun, challenging, and keeping me on my toes.
I made a dress. I was American McGee's Alice last night. Went to a party, saw a few of my friends. I recently met a wonderfully sweet and accomplished French-Israeli who just moved here, and he was my date to the party. He'd never experienced Halloween before. He was very impressed by the entire thing - the effort, the costumes, the creativity with which people express themselves.
I want to write a book about all the boys I've dated, experienced, loved, lusted, hurt, been hurt by, hated, teased, both requited and unrequited loves.. My okcupid test results are now the "Playstation": easy to turn on, hard to beat.
Quite fitting, at this point in my life. My roomate thinks I'm a slut.
I really like living on my own. Its an incredibly powerful feeling, to feel like I have a lot of control over my own life. That I have the time to myself to do what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want, and with who I want. Its not the same living under someone else's roof, be it a significant other or family member. I feel quite awesome.
Now, a digression about dating boys:
I was approached recently by this boy, who was 26 or 27 years old, buff, long surfer boy hair, very chiseled features and blue eyes. Good-looking, but the things that really turn me on are super intelligence and accomplishment. (good looks count too, of course). He didn't seem stupid, its just that his interests weren't really in parallel with mine - and that's the kind of person I really vibe with, someone who has had an analogous path and ambitions in life.
So, we chat online. I figured, even though I wasn't completely impressed by his profile, he was cute, and it wouldn't hurt to give him a chance online by chatting. (Deep down, or not so deep down, I already knew the outcome of this.)
I find out he dropped out of junior college, and he keeps trying to message me, saying, "Hey cutie. How ya doin sexy?"
Ok, how do you know I'm really that cute? Photographs can be deceiving. Second, if you read my profile, why would you think that calling me sexy and trying to talk dirty to me is going to make me want you? I don't care if you are into "cosplay", because I don't even know if I want to meet you, much less fuck you.
Second, while I'm not looking for the "one", or even a semi-regular relationship with someone, it still does not impress me to try to talk about some cool new science discovery about the brain I read about and you can't even fucking respond to that. Fucking is so mental to me, I can't be into it, no matter how beautiful someone is, if they can't appreciate what gets me going.
So, needless to say, I quickly started ignoring him. At first I felt guilty for pre-judging him on his lack of college completion, which I wouldn't care about or judge any of my friends on, but then all he did was sit around and smoke pot and get drunk - at the age of 27, I'm looking for someone who has done something a little more interesting with their life. It doesn't need to be college, but they have to be engaged somehow with the world around them. Science, politics, technology, world events, history, art, music - I don't have time to waste with a stupid spoiled brat loser who can only think of sex and doesn't think about anything else around them.
Maybe I am just a snob. And I feel like I have a right to be, to an extent. I work hard at my goals. I work at at keeping myself in shape. I try to keep an open mind, but there are some things I have very hard-set ideas about. Abortion, for a random example. I focus on myself, but try to look at the world around me, too. I have standards for myself, and standards for a guy I date.
Part of my standards have developed over time, as I've gotten to know myself and discovered what kinds of people I get along with best. Is it wrong to know that there are certain traits I want in a date and certain traits I wont tolerate? I'm open to new things, but I'm not that open. And why should I be? I think its naive at my age to be so open, because I already know from past experience that some things just don't work, and some things definitely do.
I think I'm preaching to myself, because I feel irritated that I might have wasted energy typing IM's to this person I knew before hand was not smart enough for me. There, I said it. I'm a fucking bitch, a fucking slut, and a damn sharp and happy one.
Daylight savings and November. I have never been so studious with my school work since I was at Mudd, and even now I am much more dedicated, passionate, and rigorous about studying now. My goal is straight A's.
I'm taking statistics, data structures, and this boring class called intro to computer organization. Stuff about how memory and buses and chips are controlled. It can be interesting, but its mostly very dry.
On the other hand, statistics is useful and intriguing. I got to write a maze generator/solver and a computer game AI for my other class. So, things are fun, challenging, and keeping me on my toes.
I made a dress. I was American McGee's Alice last night. Went to a party, saw a few of my friends. I recently met a wonderfully sweet and accomplished French-Israeli who just moved here, and he was my date to the party. He'd never experienced Halloween before. He was very impressed by the entire thing - the effort, the costumes, the creativity with which people express themselves.
I want to write a book about all the boys I've dated, experienced, loved, lusted, hurt, been hurt by, hated, teased, both requited and unrequited loves.. My okcupid test results are now the "Playstation": easy to turn on, hard to beat.
Quite fitting, at this point in my life. My roomate thinks I'm a slut.
I really like living on my own. Its an incredibly powerful feeling, to feel like I have a lot of control over my own life. That I have the time to myself to do what I want, when I want, how I want, where I want, and with who I want. Its not the same living under someone else's roof, be it a significant other or family member. I feel quite awesome.
Now, a digression about dating boys:
I was approached recently by this boy, who was 26 or 27 years old, buff, long surfer boy hair, very chiseled features and blue eyes. Good-looking, but the things that really turn me on are super intelligence and accomplishment. (good looks count too, of course). He didn't seem stupid, its just that his interests weren't really in parallel with mine - and that's the kind of person I really vibe with, someone who has had an analogous path and ambitions in life.
So, we chat online. I figured, even though I wasn't completely impressed by his profile, he was cute, and it wouldn't hurt to give him a chance online by chatting. (Deep down, or not so deep down, I already knew the outcome of this.)
I find out he dropped out of junior college, and he keeps trying to message me, saying, "Hey cutie. How ya doin sexy?"
Ok, how do you know I'm really that cute? Photographs can be deceiving. Second, if you read my profile, why would you think that calling me sexy and trying to talk dirty to me is going to make me want you? I don't care if you are into "cosplay", because I don't even know if I want to meet you, much less fuck you.
Second, while I'm not looking for the "one", or even a semi-regular relationship with someone, it still does not impress me to try to talk about some cool new science discovery about the brain I read about and you can't even fucking respond to that. Fucking is so mental to me, I can't be into it, no matter how beautiful someone is, if they can't appreciate what gets me going.
So, needless to say, I quickly started ignoring him. At first I felt guilty for pre-judging him on his lack of college completion, which I wouldn't care about or judge any of my friends on, but then all he did was sit around and smoke pot and get drunk - at the age of 27, I'm looking for someone who has done something a little more interesting with their life. It doesn't need to be college, but they have to be engaged somehow with the world around them. Science, politics, technology, world events, history, art, music - I don't have time to waste with a stupid spoiled brat loser who can only think of sex and doesn't think about anything else around them.
Maybe I am just a snob. And I feel like I have a right to be, to an extent. I work hard at my goals. I work at at keeping myself in shape. I try to keep an open mind, but there are some things I have very hard-set ideas about. Abortion, for a random example. I focus on myself, but try to look at the world around me, too. I have standards for myself, and standards for a guy I date.
Part of my standards have developed over time, as I've gotten to know myself and discovered what kinds of people I get along with best. Is it wrong to know that there are certain traits I want in a date and certain traits I wont tolerate? I'm open to new things, but I'm not that open. And why should I be? I think its naive at my age to be so open, because I already know from past experience that some things just don't work, and some things definitely do.
I think I'm preaching to myself, because I feel irritated that I might have wasted energy typing IM's to this person I knew before hand was not smart enough for me. There, I said it. I'm a fucking bitch, a fucking slut, and a damn sharp and happy one.