It looks like trip to Portland is cancelled. 
I can't explain how sad I am. I hate to lose her, but I am not emotionally stable enough right now to figure out how I feel and what I want, and I can't expect her to wait on me to figure it out, nor do I think she would wait if I asked her to. She fell in love with me, but she hid her feelings from me, and I broke her heart without even knowing it.
Since I am not coming out, and since I have emotions for her that I am not sure how to deal with, she doesn't want to remain friends. So it is here I must tell her that I love her and that she will always have a sepcial place in my heart. I am thankfull for all that we have shared, and hope that one day she finds someone who can love her as much as she loves them. I'm truely sorry I'm not that person, I feel as though I have missed a great moment in my life.
I can't explain how sad I am. I hate to lose her, but I am not emotionally stable enough right now to figure out how I feel and what I want, and I can't expect her to wait on me to figure it out, nor do I think she would wait if I asked her to. She fell in love with me, but she hid her feelings from me, and I broke her heart without even knowing it.
Since I am not coming out, and since I have emotions for her that I am not sure how to deal with, she doesn't want to remain friends. So it is here I must tell her that I love her and that she will always have a sepcial place in my heart. I am thankfull for all that we have shared, and hope that one day she finds someone who can love her as much as she loves them. I'm truely sorry I'm not that person, I feel as though I have missed a great moment in my life.
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OH man I am so sorry to hear that, makes me want to cry....
I hate missed love connections... Maybe it will still work itself out and if not then you are just that much closer to finding that person who is right!
MUAH!