Okay, so there is really nothing worth writing about event wise, but these things just creep into my head and I figure they're worth mentioning.
1) I got turned away at every SXSW venue I tried to attend. Mainly because I couldn't be bothered with purchasing a wristband... the Point is; I'm hanging out in a line with my room mate and we're trying to get into the Estradasphere/Secret Chiefs show 'cause our pals are inside...This is not going to happen because it's badges and wristbands only (These being the same bars I attend at least twice a week to bare witness to some possible new savior of rock, but because I don't have 150$ to toss around I can't even get in to have a drink and nod my head as per usual).
But, these 5 japanese girls (obviously in a jap-punk band because no one dresses that punk on purpose and still maintains even the thinnest shred of self worth) creep up behind us and I blow out a wreath of smoke and offer up my most self satisfying pick up line ever:
"So...you girls from out of town?"
I'm pretty sure I was insulted heavily in nipponese, but I wouldn't know because they got into the show and I wasn't able to follow up on it.
2) On occaison at the adult video store, we have this elderly gentleman who is legaly blind shuffle into the anal and hispanic aisles and request that we read the back of the video packaging so he can better decide if he wishes to purchase...say, "Shut Up and Blow Me! " part eight.
I enjoy this immensely because in my best booming stage voice I can deliver a tidbit such as: "What we have here is nearly a full hour more of ramming, gaping, spooge-drizzling magic of Ukranian sensation Alexa May as she takes huge meat missles up her tender asshole and waits for the hot man gravy to ooze out of her rectum."
I swear to god, I couldn't make this shit up. I manage to withold my guffaws until said blind gentleman has made his purchase, but sweet christ, I never thought I'd be delivering the write up of a Ass to Mouth porno video like it were a fourth grade book report.
In closing, I found out they've got an easter bunny gig for the next few weeks... I think I'll try out, 'cause I'm pretty sure I look damn good in bunny ears.
1) I got turned away at every SXSW venue I tried to attend. Mainly because I couldn't be bothered with purchasing a wristband... the Point is; I'm hanging out in a line with my room mate and we're trying to get into the Estradasphere/Secret Chiefs show 'cause our pals are inside...This is not going to happen because it's badges and wristbands only (These being the same bars I attend at least twice a week to bare witness to some possible new savior of rock, but because I don't have 150$ to toss around I can't even get in to have a drink and nod my head as per usual).
But, these 5 japanese girls (obviously in a jap-punk band because no one dresses that punk on purpose and still maintains even the thinnest shred of self worth) creep up behind us and I blow out a wreath of smoke and offer up my most self satisfying pick up line ever:
"So...you girls from out of town?"
I'm pretty sure I was insulted heavily in nipponese, but I wouldn't know because they got into the show and I wasn't able to follow up on it.
2) On occaison at the adult video store, we have this elderly gentleman who is legaly blind shuffle into the anal and hispanic aisles and request that we read the back of the video packaging so he can better decide if he wishes to purchase...say, "Shut Up and Blow Me! " part eight.
I enjoy this immensely because in my best booming stage voice I can deliver a tidbit such as: "What we have here is nearly a full hour more of ramming, gaping, spooge-drizzling magic of Ukranian sensation Alexa May as she takes huge meat missles up her tender asshole and waits for the hot man gravy to ooze out of her rectum."
I swear to god, I couldn't make this shit up. I manage to withold my guffaws until said blind gentleman has made his purchase, but sweet christ, I never thought I'd be delivering the write up of a Ass to Mouth porno video like it were a fourth grade book report.
In closing, I found out they've got an easter bunny gig for the next few weeks... I think I'll try out, 'cause I'm pretty sure I look damn good in bunny ears.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
you should have snuck in just to hook up with the cute japanese girls.
i would have been proud!
love annie