Why I feel that we are no more then stinky monkeys. Warning labels on various products.
1. On a blanket from Taiwan-
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists-
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo-
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink-
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
6. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
7. In some countries, on the bottom of coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.
8. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
9.On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
10. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
11. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
12. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding-
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING
13. On a korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
14. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(I didn't know there was another option.)
15. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
16. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS
17. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
18. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(Ouch!)
19. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
20. On some frozen dinner -
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST
21. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -
FITS ONE HEAD.
22. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
23. On boot's "Children's" cough medicine -
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
24. On Nytol sleep aid -
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
(How can they make a sleep aid that does that? Is that legal?)
1. On a blanket from Taiwan-
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists-
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo-
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink-
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
6. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
7. In some countries, on the bottom of coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.
8. On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
9.On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
10. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
11. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
12. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding-
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING
13. On a korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
14. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(I didn't know there was another option.)
15. On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
16. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS
17. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
18. On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(Ouch!)
19. On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
20. On some frozen dinner -
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST
21. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -
FITS ONE HEAD.
22. On packaging for a Rowenta iron -
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
23. On boot's "Children's" cough medicine -
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
24. On Nytol sleep aid -
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
(How can they make a sleep aid that does that? Is that legal?)
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
well can't you squeeze tight into one?