It is funny almost everytime I get my hopes up for something it seems to blow up in my face. Last night was suppose to be one hell of a party and me and Trista was going to be there. We play more volleyball and then grill hamburgers and then the party starts.
The party was going fine and then Trista got a call from her ex. The conversation wasn't very pleasent because when she got off the phone she seemed to be in tears almost and downed a pretty stiff drink like it was nothing and then began drinking really heavily. She then gets the idea to call this guy from work and wish him happy birthday. She ends up inviting him to the party. I figure he is just coming over for a drink and then leaving but NO.
When he gets there Trista gets him very drunk very quick. She decides she is going to give him a lap dance for his birthday, which I really don't mind. She dances for him, but doesn't stop. The dance becomes more real then just a lap dance, she starts letting him grope her tits. I get a little upset and tell Shaun that it is shortly going to become too much for me to watch. He goes and talks to Shannon and they decide they are going to get Trista off the guy and get him to leave. While we where still talking about it we all look over to the computer desk where Trista is seated and the guy is over her and feeling up her legging and then starts kissing her. I pretty much snap and leave the party because I can't take it anymore. I go for a walk around the apartment. When I get back Shannon tells me that she is doing her best to keep Trista and the guy off each other and they are working on getting him out of the apartment (1:00am).
The erotic dancing continues, I stay outside and Shannon comforts me. Then a friend of ours Matt arrives. We sit and talk outside about the UFC and whatever to keep my mind on other things. At the sametime I am trying to not look inside the house. Shaun comes to me and tells me that he is going to be taking the guy to "The Brewery" to meet friends. (1:15). Trista and the dude come in front of the patio door and I see something that forced me to have to take another walk (don't remember what I saw though). Me, Shannon and Matt take a walk around the apartments. When we get back Shaun meets us and says that Trista told the guy that once he got done at "The Brewery" for him to come back and see her. When Me, Shannon and Matt heard that we all got pretty pissed. Shannon said she didn't know what to do. I told her to tell Trista whatever she needed to get the guy gone, NOW (1:30).
I don't know what Shannon told her but she came and found me. We talked, I obviously couldn't conduct the conversation the way I would choose because of the alcohol. What came out of it was she doesn't know what she wants and is just looking to have fun (which unless she hasn't been pay attention is exactly what I am looking for). She finds me attractive but isn't looking to hurt me. She swears that she was just being extra nice too him because it was his birthday. She completely denies kissing him, but 6 fucking people looked and thought they were kissing and I convinced she is lying because virtually everyone lies when confronted with their own failings (although I didn't tell her that ). The conversation was just more indecisive this and indecisive that. I realized that this wasn't going anywhere so I took the first opportunity I could find and blamed my reaction on the alcohol. It ended with a long hug and nothing solved for me (1:55).
I go back into the apartment and Shaun is making best friends with this guy. Shaun is drinking again too so there is no way he is taking the guy to meet his friends. This makes me want to drink more. I try and drink but regardless of how much alcohol I put in my system I just kept getting more sober. It is kind of funny because I am always choosing rational over emotion and when I try to drown said rational in alcohol in an attempt to be happy, my body says "fuck you" and won't let me get drunk.
I decide that I can't stay there I had planned. I go and lay down in Shaun's daughters room. I lay there for awhile and Shannon comes in to check on me. I told her that I was going to sober up and leave. She says okay and then goes to bed. Shaun, Trista and the guy decide to watch a movie and are being really loud. The guys voice starts to get on my nerves so I go outside to the swings in the apartment playground (2:35). As I pass the couch on the way out I see the guy and Trista all coudling on the couch. He has his arm around her and is running his fingers through her hair; she seems to be really enjoying it too.
I stay outside for maybe 30 minutes and then figure I am sober enough to go home. I go inside the apartment and see some of the same stuff from Trista and the guy; Shaun is still being Mr. Social and being really friendly to the chump that caused his so called "best friend" to have a mountainously shitty night. I realized I am not quite sobered up when I try to lock the door behind me and have a hard time making it happen. I struggle with it for about 45 seconds, but the whole time nobody has said bye, nobody seems to care enough to take half a second out of there social schedule to say bye or tell me to drive safely. I leave the apartment. I walk the entire apartment complex to sober up and then leave. I don't believe the guy ever left and nobody came to see if Josh decided to leave drunk. I get home at 4:06 am. I had a really hard time sleeping because I couldn't get the nights events off my mind.
Before this all went down Trista and Shannon said they wanted to go to Chevelle with me. I bought the tickets on my credit card, but now I don't know that I even want to see Trista. Maybe by the time of the concert I will be cooled down enough to exist in the same area as her. Although when Shannon screwed up my birthday it took me like two months to get over that shit. At least Shannon truly seemed to care how I was feeling last night, unlike almost everyone else.
There is some serious irony here. Trista is staying with Shaun and Shannon because she can't stand her family always arguing. She has been complaining about being lonely and didn't want to be the third wheel with Shaun and Shannon. So she has been going over to her ex's place (same ex that likes to get high on coke and beat the shit out of her) just so she isn't lonely. Yet she has a guy who she is attracted to and is more then willing to help feel that void. A guy who wants exactly what she wants (FUN). I am there trying to help her not feel so lonely and still she invites some guy over and in effect making me the exact same thing she desires not to be: the third wheel (7th wheel actually).
Why is it that the honest, purely good people in the world always get the short end of the stick? Of course I can answer that for myself after all the times I have gotten completely shafted I am quite the expert when it comes to that question, but still it seemed like it was needed to end this long depressing journal entry.
The party was going fine and then Trista got a call from her ex. The conversation wasn't very pleasent because when she got off the phone she seemed to be in tears almost and downed a pretty stiff drink like it was nothing and then began drinking really heavily. She then gets the idea to call this guy from work and wish him happy birthday. She ends up inviting him to the party. I figure he is just coming over for a drink and then leaving but NO.
When he gets there Trista gets him very drunk very quick. She decides she is going to give him a lap dance for his birthday, which I really don't mind. She dances for him, but doesn't stop. The dance becomes more real then just a lap dance, she starts letting him grope her tits. I get a little upset and tell Shaun that it is shortly going to become too much for me to watch. He goes and talks to Shannon and they decide they are going to get Trista off the guy and get him to leave. While we where still talking about it we all look over to the computer desk where Trista is seated and the guy is over her and feeling up her legging and then starts kissing her. I pretty much snap and leave the party because I can't take it anymore. I go for a walk around the apartment. When I get back Shannon tells me that she is doing her best to keep Trista and the guy off each other and they are working on getting him out of the apartment (1:00am).
The erotic dancing continues, I stay outside and Shannon comforts me. Then a friend of ours Matt arrives. We sit and talk outside about the UFC and whatever to keep my mind on other things. At the sametime I am trying to not look inside the house. Shaun comes to me and tells me that he is going to be taking the guy to "The Brewery" to meet friends. (1:15). Trista and the dude come in front of the patio door and I see something that forced me to have to take another walk (don't remember what I saw though). Me, Shannon and Matt take a walk around the apartments. When we get back Shaun meets us and says that Trista told the guy that once he got done at "The Brewery" for him to come back and see her. When Me, Shannon and Matt heard that we all got pretty pissed. Shannon said she didn't know what to do. I told her to tell Trista whatever she needed to get the guy gone, NOW (1:30).
I don't know what Shannon told her but she came and found me. We talked, I obviously couldn't conduct the conversation the way I would choose because of the alcohol. What came out of it was she doesn't know what she wants and is just looking to have fun (which unless she hasn't been pay attention is exactly what I am looking for). She finds me attractive but isn't looking to hurt me. She swears that she was just being extra nice too him because it was his birthday. She completely denies kissing him, but 6 fucking people looked and thought they were kissing and I convinced she is lying because virtually everyone lies when confronted with their own failings (although I didn't tell her that ). The conversation was just more indecisive this and indecisive that. I realized that this wasn't going anywhere so I took the first opportunity I could find and blamed my reaction on the alcohol. It ended with a long hug and nothing solved for me (1:55).
I go back into the apartment and Shaun is making best friends with this guy. Shaun is drinking again too so there is no way he is taking the guy to meet his friends. This makes me want to drink more. I try and drink but regardless of how much alcohol I put in my system I just kept getting more sober. It is kind of funny because I am always choosing rational over emotion and when I try to drown said rational in alcohol in an attempt to be happy, my body says "fuck you" and won't let me get drunk.
I decide that I can't stay there I had planned. I go and lay down in Shaun's daughters room. I lay there for awhile and Shannon comes in to check on me. I told her that I was going to sober up and leave. She says okay and then goes to bed. Shaun, Trista and the guy decide to watch a movie and are being really loud. The guys voice starts to get on my nerves so I go outside to the swings in the apartment playground (2:35). As I pass the couch on the way out I see the guy and Trista all coudling on the couch. He has his arm around her and is running his fingers through her hair; she seems to be really enjoying it too.
I stay outside for maybe 30 minutes and then figure I am sober enough to go home. I go inside the apartment and see some of the same stuff from Trista and the guy; Shaun is still being Mr. Social and being really friendly to the chump that caused his so called "best friend" to have a mountainously shitty night. I realized I am not quite sobered up when I try to lock the door behind me and have a hard time making it happen. I struggle with it for about 45 seconds, but the whole time nobody has said bye, nobody seems to care enough to take half a second out of there social schedule to say bye or tell me to drive safely. I leave the apartment. I walk the entire apartment complex to sober up and then leave. I don't believe the guy ever left and nobody came to see if Josh decided to leave drunk. I get home at 4:06 am. I had a really hard time sleeping because I couldn't get the nights events off my mind.
Before this all went down Trista and Shannon said they wanted to go to Chevelle with me. I bought the tickets on my credit card, but now I don't know that I even want to see Trista. Maybe by the time of the concert I will be cooled down enough to exist in the same area as her. Although when Shannon screwed up my birthday it took me like two months to get over that shit. At least Shannon truly seemed to care how I was feeling last night, unlike almost everyone else.
There is some serious irony here. Trista is staying with Shaun and Shannon because she can't stand her family always arguing. She has been complaining about being lonely and didn't want to be the third wheel with Shaun and Shannon. So she has been going over to her ex's place (same ex that likes to get high on coke and beat the shit out of her) just so she isn't lonely. Yet she has a guy who she is attracted to and is more then willing to help feel that void. A guy who wants exactly what she wants (FUN). I am there trying to help her not feel so lonely and still she invites some guy over and in effect making me the exact same thing she desires not to be: the third wheel (7th wheel actually).
Why is it that the honest, purely good people in the world always get the short end of the stick? Of course I can answer that for myself after all the times I have gotten completely shafted I am quite the expert when it comes to that question, but still it seemed like it was needed to end this long depressing journal entry.
What about Jesse?