thejosh

I helped a friend move some couches and stuff Saturday. She has a little boy who is 8. We played Baseball and Chinese Checkers. I came home looking forward to going to a party that night, proad of myself for my good deed and altogether life just felt so great when I left her house.

Okay it is time to vent. I went to the party Saturday at my friend Shaun's house (house I will be staying at come August). There where at least 20+ people their, 3/4ths of which I knew. We grilled out and had some great hamburgers.

Now to to part I am mad about. I dress somewhat similiar to them. Billbong T-Shirt, Nautica carpenter jeans and some Lugs that look like this:.

I had this belt (Little different it has a double buckle) on
and a short chain that went from belt to wallet. I have a style of my own, not looking to go fully alternative dress and looking to mix it in with a somewhat sporty(shirt) with a tad hiphop mixed in(nautica pants and lugz). I hate the idea of fitting into any clich. I want to be original above everything else.

Everyone there is very conservative in dress with no real fashion since between them. We really don't have alot in common, but I have know most of them since 6th grade. Everyone started telling me how gay the belt and the chain is. And I can understand a little ragging by guys, that is normal. But this was everyone I knew at the party. And it didn't stop there.

I have been celibate for 4 1/2 years. Strictly out of choice because it is in my best interest. My friends are incapable of understanding why anyone would choose to go so long without sex. I could (to you who are reading this) try to explain but that is a long explaination that would likely take me hours to write.

Anyway we are playing the game Cranium and every few minutes someone who say something about the fact that I haven't had sex in so long. "At least I can get sex, unlike Josh", "Josh, your a fag because you haven't had sex in 4 years", or "Do you still have a dick since you haven't had sex in so long?". But the problem is the people I don't even know decide to get into it to. Like they know me or something. They even had one of the girls who came late, really thinking I was gay by what they were saying.

The only real bright part of the night was my friend's wife Jody. Girl is straving for attention and her husband gives her none. We flirt alot because we both know that we would never call one another on the flirting. This way she feels special and I never mind when a relatively attractive women wants to hung and grope me. Her husband thinks she is looking to fuck me and it is funny to watch his reactions to her hunging me. The girl is very sweet when she wants to be.

After the game and only half the people are left, we are sitting around talking. I mostly stay out of the conversation because all they are talking about is stupid boring guy sex stuff. And then the conversation leans toward a hate powered discussion on Shaun's evil, soon-to-be ex-wife and everyone telling Shaun how he should have beat the shit out of that bitch. And men bullshitting about how no women would live if they cheated on them. Just really useless ignorant talk like this. Thats american society for yah. I just stood there and listened to them making idiots of themselves till I couldn't take it anymore. I left with only saying bye to Shaun.

I was so pissed off by the way they mocked me in my chosen lifestyle, how they are all so fucking ignorant to life and everything in it, that I am forced to socialize with these fucking people because their is no one else, and how big of hypocrites these people are. I couldn't go home, I couldn't lay down to sleep with this stuff on my mind. I wasted a half a tank of really expensive gas, listening to Smashing Pumpkins and trying my best to let the anger go. Like always a long drive with the Smashing Pumpkins playing is a cure for all mental anguish. But I think it is time for me and my friends to have it out, because I can't be taking a ride in my car everyday.