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theinsomniac

Salem, Oregon

Member Since 2003

Followers 157 Following 164

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Monday Sep 19, 2005

Sep 19, 2005
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Many of my favortie SG's have been archived lately. Sicily, Apnea, and today I realized Erica was archived this week. I'm sad to see them go.

Life has been a roller coaster the past few weeks. I have no steady empolyment, but instead have been taking short contracts to get by. The job search continues slowly. I fear I will not be hosting an SG event for at least a few weeks.

That being said, it seems like the DC kids are really starting to come together as a group. I'm very satisfied with my role in that. I've come to realize I very good at being a social facilitator, I can bring people together and show them a good time. On the other hand, I'm not very good going into unfamiliar social circles, and I'm terrible in groups of over 5 or 6. This is most directly because of my hearing disability (Some of you might be hearing about this for the time. Surprised?) . I'm really quite deaf in my left hear, and have poor directional hearing, which makes background noise interfere with conversations quite often, especially in loud environments.

I've recently started down a path I've been contemplating for quite some time. I'm beginning to socialize with, and recieve instruction from, members of the DC BDSM community. This is really the final step in a long path I've been on since my teen years. I've always know I was a bit different, in terms of sexuality, and what I wanted from my partners., but I kept it bottled up for a long time. Only certain of my girlfriends were ever allowed to see that side of me. Really, it was Suicide Girls that led me to open up more. For the first time, I found an open community of people with similar aesthetic tastes and social veiews, and predilictions.

I never socialized with SG members while I was in North Carolina, but not for lack of trying. Back then, most of the SGNC group was located around Charlotte, and I was quite some distance away. I was the only SG member from my college (that I knew of) until just a few months before I graduated. She knows who she is. (By the way, where have you been, girl?)

I moved to DC in May of 2004, three weeks before the first Burlesque tour landed at 9:30 club, which to my joy turned out to be a five-minute walk from my apartment. Honestly, I was expecting it to be much more social at first. I thought a major metropolis like Washington would have an active SC community, but I found that wasn't the case. People posted to the boards, but event postings tended to flounder. After a few months, I took matters into my own hands, and happily enough, everything has turned out swimmingly.

While all this is going on, I'm forging other relationships as well. I spent years in a perpetual state of shyness, and I reselved that this would not be the case in Washington. Moving here, I had no support system, no circle of friends, so I had to make my own. I threw myself into my work, made contacts, starting going to the great larp in town. Eventually I started hitting the goth clubs, my first significant clubbing experience since I was in Europe. Sometimes this with SG people, but usually with outside friends. I started to meet people. I started meeting women, specificially. My social skills developed and I became more confident.

A few months later and Dierdre invites the DC crew to Bound, a goth/fetish club here in DC that I'd only heard about. I won't go into details here, but I had a wonderful, liberating experience, and more importantly, I met more new people. In the weeks since, I've experienced things I had thought I would never get the chance to. I feel changed in some way.

Well, look how long this post has gotten. I'll leave you hear, friend, having gotten my verbal therapy for the week out of the way. Thanks for checking up on me.

------------
Quote of the Year:

Me: You NEED a big ego to be a SuicideGirl. Nothing wrong with that!

Dierdre: Yeah, but that's not WHY we do it. We do it to hook up with the other girls.

Me: Finally, the truth.


----

A small tribute to Stormy, one of my all time favorites:


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Today's Rin/Malloreigh set is incredible!

VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
babyblue:
Thanks for the birthday wishes! I'm glad to hear that you are feeling comfortable in your own skin. It's quite an accomplishment to come to terms with your true self.
Sep 25, 2005
aryn:
Let me know when you go to Bound next time. I am interested in checking it out. I am dom and I need some more bitches.. hahah!! Can't wait for the next DC get together! Talk to you soon!! kiss
Sep 27, 2005

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