thehedgehog

regular sized version here:
http://www.awayfromkeyboard.com/246.html

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lately, like many of you, i've been intently following this year's presidential race. i think so much of us realize how important this year's election truly is.

as we all know, john kerry has gone on to secure himself a spot on the ballot in November. now, the challenge at hand is to get george w. bush out of office and send him back to crawford.

in order to accomplish this, kerry will need absolutely every single vote he can get. john kerry's going to need a lot of money as well. for starters, he's going to need $12.98 for a healthy start on his morning,courtesy of a stack of flapjacks. he might need five bucks later for a hat or something.

john kerry's going to need the varia boots. once equiped, john kerry will need to make it through the lava platform area as fast as possible, so that george bush hasn't already activated the ultimate weapon by the time he gets there.

john kerry will need to power up fast. first, he'll need to buy tetra equipment (shield, armlet, etc.) then equip it with the following abilities: triple AP, overdrive AP, triple overdrive, and break damage limit. he'll then want to return back to level five to get the grappling winch, and proceed straight to warp zone. note: john kerry doesn't *need* to use the jump spell to get over to room 7. If he get up enough momentum on that small step, he can jump onto the upper step and go on.

john kerry will also need the power hammer at the bottom of death mountain. to take john kerry there, go down from the town of ruto. at the end of town, you'll find the guy who says "only townspeople may cross the bridge."
leave and go back across the bridge. just ahead is a small section of trees. walk john kerry through these trees and you'll find bagu's place. talk to him and return to water town. there you'll find a large rock with a cave to its right. Enter the cave and you'll find the hammer. to equip it , have john kerry press triangle + b, then start, select, sit, sit, twirl the analog stick counterclockwise 4 times, and select continue.

before he gets to george bush however, he'll have to first defeat dick cheney. first, he'll need to activate the thunder spell, and cheney will turn from red to blue. using shield to increase strength, he can then jump up and hit the boss's face until he explodes. up/downthrusting doesn't work; there's a safespot on the far right side.

once shadow cheney emerges, he'll walk right into kerry's power sword and gets damaged. If shadow cheney jumps too high, turn john kerry and face him, but -stay- kneeling! keep it up and cheney should eventually flee back to the dungeon, and you can get the final heart container.

lastly to sum up, we all know defeating george bush won't be easy. he's got a mountain of campaign cash he's raised over the past few years from bigwig corporates. that and as soon as george bush begins his attack, he vanishes. my advice to john kerry?

start swinging your sword in the area where you think he is hidden. If you hit him, his magic spell will be broken temporarily, and he will be visible for a few seconds. at this point he is still too strong to be defeated.

after bush turns invisible again, try to hit him again with the sword. wait for him to become invisible and hit him one more time. this time when he becomes visible, he should be brown. at this point, he is weakened enough to be destroyed with the silver arrow. shoot him with the silver arrow, and watch him turn to dust!

# all this is well and good, but supposing kerry does win, after defeating george bush, several things should happen. john kerry is first going to have to pick up the triforce and head for the next room. the princess will be there. there is a problem, however, because she is surrounded by flames! have john kerry strike the flames with your Sword to reach the Princess.

# when he and the princess are reunited, the will both hold up their triforces in triumph as the credits roll by. After the credits you will be given the opportunity to begin the second quest.