I have been ordered to update again. I know I'm slow.
My girlfriend likes it when I post about her. There's not a lot else interesting going on (although a week in Italy is looming), so maybe I could talk about her propensity to mis-hear things I say to her. I mean seriously mis-hear.
An entry from last year talked about this: how my statement "I got you!" became "Five goat you!" in her brain.
Later on, there was the time we walked through a carpark that had a door with a sign: "This Door Is Alarmed." So I read it out loud as we walked past (she hadn't seen it), as a precursor to making my brilliant joke about such doors (you know the one: "Someone should give that door a valium!" although these days you could just counsel the door to be alert but not alarmed, I suppose).
So anyway, I read out the sign aloud. TheFuckOffGirl turned to me puzzled, and said "Storm the salami?"
You have to understand, this kind of thing happens several times a day, but some of the mis-hearings are better than others. A great one recently was when we were lying in bed, lights out, and I said something about how I should make a doctor's appointment. She lay there quietly for a few moments, wondering why on earth I would want to make a dog disappointed.
Then there was the time last week where she thought I was talking in an alien (like, off-world) tongue to a taxi driver. She is not like other girls.
My girlfriend likes it when I post about her. There's not a lot else interesting going on (although a week in Italy is looming), so maybe I could talk about her propensity to mis-hear things I say to her. I mean seriously mis-hear.
An entry from last year talked about this: how my statement "I got you!" became "Five goat you!" in her brain.
Later on, there was the time we walked through a carpark that had a door with a sign: "This Door Is Alarmed." So I read it out loud as we walked past (she hadn't seen it), as a precursor to making my brilliant joke about such doors (you know the one: "Someone should give that door a valium!" although these days you could just counsel the door to be alert but not alarmed, I suppose).
So anyway, I read out the sign aloud. TheFuckOffGirl turned to me puzzled, and said "Storm the salami?"
You have to understand, this kind of thing happens several times a day, but some of the mis-hearings are better than others. A great one recently was when we were lying in bed, lights out, and I said something about how I should make a doctor's appointment. She lay there quietly for a few moments, wondering why on earth I would want to make a dog disappointed.
Then there was the time last week where she thought I was talking in an alien (like, off-world) tongue to a taxi driver. She is not like other girls.
VIEW 25 of 53 COMMENTS
I am writing to thank you for your recent application for the position as MissTyrios's Secret Lover. As I'm sure you're aware, there were only three available spots this season and applications were up by more than 30% from last year. This was by far the most qualified group of applicants that we have ever seen and careful consideration has been given to all applications equally. We appreciate your patience while we were deciding this matter, and are pleased to offer you one of the three positions as MissTyrios's Secret Lovers. Please let as know by May 1 if you are accepting or decling this offer, as the waiting list is signficiant and MissTyrios, quite frankly, would like to begin taking advantage of all Secret Lovers before the current school year has concluded.
Thank you again, and congratulations!
Sincerely,
The Committee For Promoting the Secret Sex Life of MissTyrios, 2004.