thefuckoffkid

I am at the stage of monthly updates lately, but I couldn't even manage that last month. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it didn't help that after spending a lot of January and February away I had things to write about and pictures to show off. Not so much this last 4-6 weeks. Just back to work and settling back in. Nose back to grindstone and all that.

From February: "Back at it. I have a colleague I would like to skewer. Showdown ahoy." Well, showdown was somewhat had, but less confrontationl than it otherwise might have been, so calamity averted. It's not been fun though. Saps my energy considerably. I still have days when I'd like to skewer the arsehole, but more often than not I don't have to deal much with him.

Interesting conversations in the bedroom lately.

Part (i), where I learn that monsters are not very bright.

It's late one night recently. I've gotten into bed while TFOG is doing last minute teeth-cleaning and whatnot. She finally turns off the bedroom light and dashes quickly into the bed, climbing under the doona. Then she promptly starts thrashing about, finally kicking her pants off and throwing them onto the floor. I stay silent during this procedure as I know that anything is possible with TFOG, and I should restrain the urge to act surprised or to ask stupid questions. If there's some information worth revealing, she will reveal it.

TFOG: "I have to take off my jeans in bed if it's dark."
Me: "Why?"
TFOG: "So the monsters under the bed don't get me! If you walk around with jeans on, you fool them into thinking you're not preparing for bed."
Me: "The monsters can't be that smart then, if they're so easily fooled by your clothing choices."
[At this point, even though it's dark, the scornful look on her face feels like a tangible presence.]
TFOG: "Well, of course! They choose to live under beds!"

Of course. Stupid bed-dwelling monsters. (I have a feeling the smart ones live in the cupboard.)

Part (ii), in which TFOG reveals her inner mafioso.

This morning, Sunday, I wake up around 9am and get up, letting TFOG continue sleeping as she's been really tired lately. Around noon, I decide I should risk waking her up as we have stuff to do today. So I climb into bed beside her, wrap my arms around her, and kiss her face and neck gently till she wakes up. We lie close together snuggled up for awhile, and then I decide to try and extricate myself to go and start making coffee for us both.

Me: "OK baby, I'm going to go make coffee now."
TFOG [in muffled drowsy sweet loving half-asleep voice]: "Mmmmm, noooo, stay awhile longer..."
Me: "But I need to get you your coffee."
TFOG [in muffled drowsy sweet loving half-asleep voice]: "Mmmm, and what I fucking need you to fucking do is to fucking stay here five more fucking minutes and give me more fucking cuddles. Do you think you could fucking do that for me? Mmmmkay."
Me [settling back into pillow in terrified silence, lest I end up sleeping with the fishes]: "..."

This is usually the part where I get to go on about all the places I've been lately. So last week, it was Dubbo, in central New South Wales. Not exactly high on the list of world travel destinations. They have a nice open range zoo though.

I did get to go to the V Festival, and saw (among others) the New York Dolls, Jarvis Cocker, Beck and The Pixies. That was a pretty good day.