She went out with workmates on Friday for a long long very boozy lunch and drank several bottles of wine (almost a dozen bottles between four of them).
Now here's a thing you should know. She writes brilliant emails to me when she's drunk. She doesn't do it often, not least because she doesn't get this drunk very often, but they're brilliant because they come straight from the heart, absolutely untouched by any editing. She makes the best typos, even while typing very intently, and then later on she never remembers what she's typed, at all. She wrote me one on Friday night when I was out with other people and she was drunkenly annoyed I was not at home.
Now to put what you're about to see into context, some of you might not have seen the Australian ad for "Finishing Sauce" which features a pretend Finnish couple making jokes about a "finish" sauce. It ends with the classic line (which we have adopted) - "Every time we larfing."
Here it is on Youtube.
You also need to know that the word "Buns!", spoken loudly, with wide eyes, has become a feature of the TFOK/TFOG household lately. You don't need to know why we find it funny, just that we do. Oh, yes, and "little ferret" as a term of endearment.
Following so far? You need to know about "ferrets", "Buns!", "Every time we larfing" and the various meanings of "finish".
So with all that contextualising out of the way, under the following spoiler, is the text of her Friday night "crunk email" to me. What I love most about it is how it evolves over three short paragraphs.
Paragraph one: accusatory.
Paragraph two: hilarity!
Paragraph three: stern finality.
Stay strong