thefreak

...the "friend" drama I had as of late has currently come to, if not total closure, at least...a reasonable impass? Not really sure how to describe it. Granted, some stuff I can only describe as vindictive and, to be honest, a bit dickish went down that pissed me off royally, almost to the point I considered taking an extended break from the site.

I've said it before, I'm not perfect. If I was, I wouldn't still be coughing up a $10 copay once a month to a therapist to help me continue to manage stress-related anxiety and the like. Have I made decisions I now regret? You bet. But I've done my damndest to fix them to the best of my ability. I should never have to feel guilt or self-hatred for voicing my feelings, in this space or otherwise, nor for standing up for myself (or others standing up for me). Vilifying me because you refuse to accept any responsibility for your own actions and would rather rationalize your own stance by whatever means necessary accomplishes nothing in the grand scheme of things, except make you look petty and, well, annoy the piss out of me. Such is life, I suppose.

This may sound very familiar. And yes, I notice a similar tone. Aforementioned therapist has noted a cumulative improvement in how I internalize and handle shit like this (as well as move on and learn from it) over the past year. And so have I. It's gotten easier. And that makes me happy. If certain people come around and decide to try and make amends, we'll see what happens. But I'm not holding my breath. For now, it's onward and upward.

I know who I am and what kind of person I am, and that there are plenty of people who will vouch for me. That's all that matters in the end.