Hey, kids. It's yet another "I'm still alive, I promise" update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.
I seriously miss you guys, and my sincerest apologies for not being around.
Unfortunately, things in Your Humble Narrator's life have been getting rather compacted as of late. Between financial stress, increasing work stress (including my hours getting shittier by the week) and increasing personal drama from people I consider my closest friends, things haven't been going well, despite my best efforts to put on a happy face through it all.
To sum up, I'm getting sick of being the scapegoat because people can't (or won't) take responsibility for any of their own behaviors or actions. I put up w/that too much w/the ex meltdown, and I told myself I would never do it again for the sake of my own self-respect and sanity. I'm sick of my friendship being treated as disposable, fair-weather or a one-way street. I'm sick of having all sorts of unrealistic expectations being thrust upon me when others can't (or won't) make the effort on their own ends. I'm sick of the shed tears, the wrecked self-esteem, the insomnia, the lost appetite, the stress shutting my body down, the endless thoughts of total bullshit ruling my skull, being shit on, knocked down, pushed around, pushed aside, disrespected, and unappreciated.
And most of all, I'm sick of people getting away w/it, since they don't have the balls to admit to any wrongdoing.
It's time I grow a fucking pair and say "NO MORE." I've been told I have no self-confidence. Well, If I have to start being an asshole to be able to stand up for myself and stop having a broken heart and a wracked brain...so be it.
I know I'm not perfect. If I was, I wouldn't be in counseling to this day. But I've made my efforts and admitted to my mistakes. Again and again. That's not how life is supposed to work, kids. It's a two-way street.
I just see no other viable option anymore. I deserve better than this. And goddammit, it's time I get it.
...
For those of you that have been there w/o question or hesitation as of late, it's appreciated more than you know. And also, I'm sorry you kids had to read this. But it had to be said. I hope more than anything I find the definitive answer to be able to resolve this once and for all and go back to being the happy-go-lucky, twisted, sexy Freak you've all come to know and love. I miss you all something terrible.
On a lighter note, here's the moustache-in-progress.
I'm certainly no Tom Selleck, but I'm willing to give it the time and TLC it needs to be a sexy addition to my face.
Also, have some Random YouTube-y Goodness.
Before I end this entry, since I've been terrible w/keeping up w/goings-on on the site, tell me something good that's happened in your life as of late. Help me play catchup.
I also realize my final entry of my NY vaca blog is long overdue. I hope to have it up soon. Promise.
That's all for now, kids. As always, I hope you are all well.
Stay tuned...
-TM
I seriously miss you guys, and my sincerest apologies for not being around.
Unfortunately, things in Your Humble Narrator's life have been getting rather compacted as of late. Between financial stress, increasing work stress (including my hours getting shittier by the week) and increasing personal drama from people I consider my closest friends, things haven't been going well, despite my best efforts to put on a happy face through it all.
To sum up, I'm getting sick of being the scapegoat because people can't (or won't) take responsibility for any of their own behaviors or actions. I put up w/that too much w/the ex meltdown, and I told myself I would never do it again for the sake of my own self-respect and sanity. I'm sick of my friendship being treated as disposable, fair-weather or a one-way street. I'm sick of having all sorts of unrealistic expectations being thrust upon me when others can't (or won't) make the effort on their own ends. I'm sick of the shed tears, the wrecked self-esteem, the insomnia, the lost appetite, the stress shutting my body down, the endless thoughts of total bullshit ruling my skull, being shit on, knocked down, pushed around, pushed aside, disrespected, and unappreciated.
And most of all, I'm sick of people getting away w/it, since they don't have the balls to admit to any wrongdoing.
It's time I grow a fucking pair and say "NO MORE." I've been told I have no self-confidence. Well, If I have to start being an asshole to be able to stand up for myself and stop having a broken heart and a wracked brain...so be it.
I know I'm not perfect. If I was, I wouldn't be in counseling to this day. But I've made my efforts and admitted to my mistakes. Again and again. That's not how life is supposed to work, kids. It's a two-way street.
I just see no other viable option anymore. I deserve better than this. And goddammit, it's time I get it.
...
For those of you that have been there w/o question or hesitation as of late, it's appreciated more than you know. And also, I'm sorry you kids had to read this. But it had to be said. I hope more than anything I find the definitive answer to be able to resolve this once and for all and go back to being the happy-go-lucky, twisted, sexy Freak you've all come to know and love. I miss you all something terrible.
On a lighter note, here's the moustache-in-progress.
I'm certainly no Tom Selleck, but I'm willing to give it the time and TLC it needs to be a sexy addition to my face.
Also, have some Random YouTube-y Goodness.
Before I end this entry, since I've been terrible w/keeping up w/goings-on on the site, tell me something good that's happened in your life as of late. Help me play catchup.
I also realize my final entry of my NY vaca blog is long overdue. I hope to have it up soon. Promise.
That's all for now, kids. As always, I hope you are all well.
Stay tuned...
-TM
VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
i know how to say in six languages "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." i don't really know how to say it in six languages, that was observational humor that i'm assuming the person who wrote it that could do so. but it helps me. maybe one day i'll learn how to say it in six languages. that would be cool.
and surprise, surprise, i'm going to be a panda. bet you didn't see that one coming.
me smart gurl.