Hey, kids! It's another update from Your Friendly Neighborhood Freak.
Some stuff of merit has happened lately, so that should translate into an entertaining Freak Journal for all of you.
How am I, you ask?
Well...
...I'd say that's apt.
1. Still hate my job, and it'll probably give me an aneurysm one of these days.
2. I still missed you guys.
Also, I went to see this w/my buddy Justin (aka evlwraithe1, who still refuses to write a journal, I may have to make a harassment of the sexual kind) on Friday night...
...and if you haven't seen it already, go see it. Now. No, NOW. Right now! I'll wait.
...
...
See? I know what I'm talkin' about, right?
Then, we went to our local Wally World and I found this hat on clearance for $2...
(I apologize for the shitty webcam quality, BTW.)
The pic doesn't really do it justice. It's my Straw Pimp Hat (patent pending). I wear it and I wanna sit on the beach and drink margaritas.
Or, I look like Indiana Jones' gay nephew. You make the call.
I also mourned the passing of Danny Flores, aka Chuck Rio. You may not know the name, but you definitely know the song that made him famous.
Also, I love Bill Clinton and his Big Brass Balls.
Someone needs to get that man a blowjob. He's earned it.
Hold on, quick pee break and have to get my laundry.
...aaaaaaand I'm back.
Right now, I'd like to hand things over to my assistant / resident mandrill, Manny the Mandrill.
^That's him.^
Godspeed, Steve-O
Steve Irwin was a crazy, crazy man. A good chap, but crazy. I met him while I was on vacation in Queensland. His hirelings had it in their heads that I was a troubled wild creature and needed a home, so they dragged me out of my hammock I was so lounging in and brought me to the Australia Zoo.
Bastards made me spill my cognac.
Mr. Irwin was a generous host, though. Gave me a little habitat that was better equipped than my brownstone in Manhattan.
Waitaminit...you have a brownstone in Manhattan and yet you can't spring for coffee?
You've had enough caffeine for today, mister. Buy your own.
Anyway, Freak antics aside...
I never failed to be fascinated by Steve's work with those damn crocodiles. Vicious things. They know how to party, but they're none too bright. That one that attacked the lawnmower...thought it was a Jehovah's Witness. But just as well, they're equally annoying.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Good to know I still have my rapier wit about me to amuse the other red-assed funny looking mammal in this room.
Now, I thought to myself, "Self, ol' Steve seems content with 'rasslin' crocs, but I'm sure I, Manfred T. Mandrill, could put up a better fight!" Sadly, his PR people didn't think it entertaining enough for May sweeps. Which is a shame, because that fight would've kept me in free rounds at the local pub for quite some time. Probably would insure some trim, too. For some reason, the fairer sex doesn't seem to care for a walking, talking simian with all the right "assets," if you follow me. Ah well, cest la vie.
All in all, I came to view Mr. Irwin as a friend and caretaker of the animals. His good deeds and devotion to his work and his family will be sorely missed. I raise a glass to you.
Well said, Manny.
That's going to end things here for today. I hope everyone enjoyed their respective weekends and that your week goes by just as well.
Stay tuned...
-TM
Some stuff of merit has happened lately, so that should translate into an entertaining Freak Journal for all of you.
How am I, you ask?
Well...
...I'd say that's apt.
1. Still hate my job, and it'll probably give me an aneurysm one of these days.
2. I still missed you guys.
Also, I went to see this w/my buddy Justin (aka evlwraithe1, who still refuses to write a journal, I may have to make a harassment of the sexual kind) on Friday night...
...and if you haven't seen it already, go see it. Now. No, NOW. Right now! I'll wait.
...
...
See? I know what I'm talkin' about, right?
Then, we went to our local Wally World and I found this hat on clearance for $2...
(I apologize for the shitty webcam quality, BTW.)
The pic doesn't really do it justice. It's my Straw Pimp Hat (patent pending). I wear it and I wanna sit on the beach and drink margaritas.
Or, I look like Indiana Jones' gay nephew. You make the call.
I also mourned the passing of Danny Flores, aka Chuck Rio. You may not know the name, but you definitely know the song that made him famous.
Also, I love Bill Clinton and his Big Brass Balls.
Someone needs to get that man a blowjob. He's earned it.
Hold on, quick pee break and have to get my laundry.
...aaaaaaand I'm back.
Right now, I'd like to hand things over to my assistant / resident mandrill, Manny the Mandrill.
^That's him.^
Godspeed, Steve-O
Steve Irwin was a crazy, crazy man. A good chap, but crazy. I met him while I was on vacation in Queensland. His hirelings had it in their heads that I was a troubled wild creature and needed a home, so they dragged me out of my hammock I was so lounging in and brought me to the Australia Zoo.
Bastards made me spill my cognac.
Mr. Irwin was a generous host, though. Gave me a little habitat that was better equipped than my brownstone in Manhattan.
Waitaminit...you have a brownstone in Manhattan and yet you can't spring for coffee?
You've had enough caffeine for today, mister. Buy your own.
Anyway, Freak antics aside...
I never failed to be fascinated by Steve's work with those damn crocodiles. Vicious things. They know how to party, but they're none too bright. That one that attacked the lawnmower...thought it was a Jehovah's Witness. But just as well, they're equally annoying.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Good to know I still have my rapier wit about me to amuse the other red-assed funny looking mammal in this room.
Now, I thought to myself, "Self, ol' Steve seems content with 'rasslin' crocs, but I'm sure I, Manfred T. Mandrill, could put up a better fight!" Sadly, his PR people didn't think it entertaining enough for May sweeps. Which is a shame, because that fight would've kept me in free rounds at the local pub for quite some time. Probably would insure some trim, too. For some reason, the fairer sex doesn't seem to care for a walking, talking simian with all the right "assets," if you follow me. Ah well, cest la vie.
All in all, I came to view Mr. Irwin as a friend and caretaker of the animals. His good deeds and devotion to his work and his family will be sorely missed. I raise a glass to you.
Well said, Manny.
That's going to end things here for today. I hope everyone enjoyed their respective weekends and that your week goes by just as well.
Stay tuned...
-TM
VIEW 25 of 51 COMMENTS
_biblia_:
nice hat. my favorite thing to do when shopping is try on silly hats and take photos of myself. in fact, i'll be posting my most recent favorite next time i update. 
notoriouscat:
no. connery's sounds so fake. 