I have to post this somewhere and since the person it talks about usually reads my Thoughts blog I turn to you, oh secret SG journal.
So, I have this friend, the only one I truly call such anymore. Met her the summer after high school and though we've travelled many different roads, dammit it if those highways and byways don't keep intersecting. To the lament of many of her family (and considered a bad idea on my own part) she married because she decided at 21 she needed a child. Wanted to be married with children so badly, in fact, that she left the guy to convince him to marry her. After that worked she came to the assumption (possibly truth) that he did so because he couldn't make it on his own (racked up hundreds to thousands of dollars of credit card debt to keep from losing house, car, etc).
I considered the guy an upright citizen: very involved in his son's life, devoted husband, involved in the community and church (if you're into that sorta thing) and was a stalwart bread winner. During one of their "outs" period (I was unemployed and offered any of my time to my friend while he worked, chatted with old girlfriends via email and watched his biased Fox News) my friend informed me of the handicapped son he fathered while still in high school and how he's never seen him nor supports him; she shared of the second child (after his first son with his previous significant other) aborted. I so wanted to tell her how she used to be such a free, liberal spirit that I enjoyed being around that had become a holy rolling baptist (and didn't even know it; her family is catholic), believes Republicans will save the world (both parties have issues but when things were wrong four years ago it was Clinton's fault and now they're the Senate's fault), used to smoke the weed and drink the wine but now believe they are evil things. In other words, she's become a disciple of her husband. Not to mention he keeps his exes as far away as an email while if I, a friend of hers, wants to contact her it has to be through his email account (his son has his own email account and he has his... that leaves five free on their ISP account)
But the biggest shock I got was when I realized he's not upright... he's a deadbeat. He had a trade as a mechanic, didn't like a fellow oil changers politics, argued, got fired. Got another job with his tool box, got fired. Unemployed, broke his leg, was laid up for about six months during which he ran up more debt buying equipment to do landscaping which he never pursued (not to mention bought that catamaran; had a job cleaning houses, got a gig as a processing server (in case you don't know, this is the person who delivers divorce papers or your subpoena) whenever there were papers to serve. He really enjoyed it and wanted to make a career of it. Stayed unemployed for another year trying to make that happen. Well, gosh, that year ended ten months ago when he was supposed to find a job. So for the last two and a half years he hasn't worked and my friend, who has already paid off his debt on his credit cards while still stuck with hers, has worked 50-60-70 hour weeks to support their family.
Now she's been fired and working a part time job in a Christian book store. That's it. It's not much and she's still the only one working.
The point I'm making is this: I quit a job that came close to killing me (or, rather, causing myself to kill me) and I thought here's my chance to make it big and make it happen (I got that from Franklin McMahon, host of the Media Artist Secrets podcast) in my own field. I failed. So what did I do? I got a haircut and got a real job. I had been debt free and was back where I was before after that year. Granted, I didn't have anyone to support but myself but I made a go at my dreams and faltered. So I took responsibility for it. But this guy... he's still wasting time. He's got a home, a wife, a family and he's piddling around putting the responsibility on someone else. That's my point: the liberal minded artist sucked it up and did what was needed while the God-fearing Republican who believes in family values is failing his family.
I get longwinded too often
So, I have this friend, the only one I truly call such anymore. Met her the summer after high school and though we've travelled many different roads, dammit it if those highways and byways don't keep intersecting. To the lament of many of her family (and considered a bad idea on my own part) she married because she decided at 21 she needed a child. Wanted to be married with children so badly, in fact, that she left the guy to convince him to marry her. After that worked she came to the assumption (possibly truth) that he did so because he couldn't make it on his own (racked up hundreds to thousands of dollars of credit card debt to keep from losing house, car, etc).
I considered the guy an upright citizen: very involved in his son's life, devoted husband, involved in the community and church (if you're into that sorta thing) and was a stalwart bread winner. During one of their "outs" period (I was unemployed and offered any of my time to my friend while he worked, chatted with old girlfriends via email and watched his biased Fox News) my friend informed me of the handicapped son he fathered while still in high school and how he's never seen him nor supports him; she shared of the second child (after his first son with his previous significant other) aborted. I so wanted to tell her how she used to be such a free, liberal spirit that I enjoyed being around that had become a holy rolling baptist (and didn't even know it; her family is catholic), believes Republicans will save the world (both parties have issues but when things were wrong four years ago it was Clinton's fault and now they're the Senate's fault), used to smoke the weed and drink the wine but now believe they are evil things. In other words, she's become a disciple of her husband. Not to mention he keeps his exes as far away as an email while if I, a friend of hers, wants to contact her it has to be through his email account (his son has his own email account and he has his... that leaves five free on their ISP account)
But the biggest shock I got was when I realized he's not upright... he's a deadbeat. He had a trade as a mechanic, didn't like a fellow oil changers politics, argued, got fired. Got another job with his tool box, got fired. Unemployed, broke his leg, was laid up for about six months during which he ran up more debt buying equipment to do landscaping which he never pursued (not to mention bought that catamaran; had a job cleaning houses, got a gig as a processing server (in case you don't know, this is the person who delivers divorce papers or your subpoena) whenever there were papers to serve. He really enjoyed it and wanted to make a career of it. Stayed unemployed for another year trying to make that happen. Well, gosh, that year ended ten months ago when he was supposed to find a job. So for the last two and a half years he hasn't worked and my friend, who has already paid off his debt on his credit cards while still stuck with hers, has worked 50-60-70 hour weeks to support their family.
Now she's been fired and working a part time job in a Christian book store. That's it. It's not much and she's still the only one working.
The point I'm making is this: I quit a job that came close to killing me (or, rather, causing myself to kill me) and I thought here's my chance to make it big and make it happen (I got that from Franklin McMahon, host of the Media Artist Secrets podcast) in my own field. I failed. So what did I do? I got a haircut and got a real job. I had been debt free and was back where I was before after that year. Granted, I didn't have anyone to support but myself but I made a go at my dreams and faltered. So I took responsibility for it. But this guy... he's still wasting time. He's got a home, a wife, a family and he's piddling around putting the responsibility on someone else. That's my point: the liberal minded artist sucked it up and did what was needed while the God-fearing Republican who believes in family values is failing his family.
I get longwinded too often
raen:
sounds like a douche bag alright... hey thanks a bunch for the hook-up. I'm sure I'll have a few more questions later but ya, really appreciate it. and SG widgets?? who'da thunk it? that sounds pretty cool. 