You can tell the folks at Planned Parenthood really don't want poor people breeding. Without asking me, (a very, very poor person), they gave me a year's worth of birth control pills, a sack full of condoms, and a morning after pill. And I'm not even currently fucking. I'm not sure if this is some kind of ominous portent toward my procreational future or if this is the Government's way of telling me to get cracking on the casual sex. The Government wants poor people to all get AIDS and die. That's actually pretty smart of the Government, come to think of it.
Either way, that was the most fun I've ever had at a gynecological exam. I sort of want to tour the Planned Parenthoods of the country and write reviews, now. I think my bisexual CNA was flirting with me. She explained to me that according to the latest studies at UCSF, (where the top researchers in the country are kept, noodling away with genital diseases), they estimate that eighty percent of sexually active people have herpes, but most are asymptomatic. Also, everybody has HPV (genital warts; cervical cancer). (I just wanted to make sure you caught that. Feel free to freak out now.) Frankly, with that kind of information, I feel like throwing a nihilistic little party and screaming ORRRRRGYYYYY!! Because why the fuck not?
Anyway, she was hot.
It's been so long since anyone's touched me, I sort of didn't want my breast exam to end. Later, at my modeling job, the teacher explained anatomy by gesturing in the air near my bits. I was so hyped up for human contact I could feel her body warmth entering my personal space. When she left my side I was sad. I wanted to say, "Hey, wait! I have other fascinating body parts that you could explain! Come back!"
And then I drove home on the freeway and I thought, you know, isn't it funny how something as insignificant as a thin yellow line can keep millions and millions of rushing people apart?
Either way, that was the most fun I've ever had at a gynecological exam. I sort of want to tour the Planned Parenthoods of the country and write reviews, now. I think my bisexual CNA was flirting with me. She explained to me that according to the latest studies at UCSF, (where the top researchers in the country are kept, noodling away with genital diseases), they estimate that eighty percent of sexually active people have herpes, but most are asymptomatic. Also, everybody has HPV (genital warts; cervical cancer). (I just wanted to make sure you caught that. Feel free to freak out now.) Frankly, with that kind of information, I feel like throwing a nihilistic little party and screaming ORRRRRGYYYYY!! Because why the fuck not?
Anyway, she was hot.
It's been so long since anyone's touched me, I sort of didn't want my breast exam to end. Later, at my modeling job, the teacher explained anatomy by gesturing in the air near my bits. I was so hyped up for human contact I could feel her body warmth entering my personal space. When she left my side I was sad. I wanted to say, "Hey, wait! I have other fascinating body parts that you could explain! Come back!"
And then I drove home on the freeway and I thought, you know, isn't it funny how something as insignificant as a thin yellow line can keep millions and millions of rushing people apart?