No real reason to keep fucking with this. I am, but no real reason to. Added some girl as a friend on a whim. That's about it.
I have thought, on occasion what i'm supposed to say about N, the next girl i had sex with. We dated for almost two and a half years, which, after we had passed the three month mark, was my longest relationship ever. Some of that time was me in New York while she lived back in Georgia.
I cheated on her a lot. It's indefensible. If she ever found out--and she may have--it would've hurt her a tremondous amount.
Sex with her was my first taste of adult sex--where you have it with each other so much, in so many different ways, in so many different places, that after a while, it becomes a regular staple, and less like a high school/early college "look how grown up i am" kind of thing. Where you start learning what kind of partner (i loath using the word "lover" to describe myself.) you are, and what you can become.
With her, she was so nice, so caring, and i was such a shit, not loving her and not dumping her that after a while, sex became something i hated doing with her. Instead, i fucked my way through multiple girls, sometimes, other peoples girlfriends.
More about that shithole lifestyle later.
We broke up four years ago, maybe longer now. She's since married, and by all reports, deliriously happy. She doesn't call, and i think that's best. I respect her wishes.
There's nothing very positive to say. I've changed? Yes. What happened with A, the girl prior to her, hasn't happened since. What happened with N, the one in this story will never happen again. Leading people on is unforgiveable. I took away a portion of N's life, a portion i can never return, no matter how much i "change" or how much i "learn."
The best thing that can come out of that is that N was the person who taught me i was deserving of receiving love, and in the end, i was punished in similar fashion not too long after we seperated. The other good thing was that N taught me to never treat a woman like a stage prop in the endlessly dull and contrived thing i was calling a life back then.
College is a great place to be full of shit. Just thinking about it, and look at this emotionally overwrought drivel.
I need to go to sleep. I have a big day tomorrow.
Peace out to no one. I've enjoyed re-reading these--it's like myspace without the peeping toms.
I have thought, on occasion what i'm supposed to say about N, the next girl i had sex with. We dated for almost two and a half years, which, after we had passed the three month mark, was my longest relationship ever. Some of that time was me in New York while she lived back in Georgia.
I cheated on her a lot. It's indefensible. If she ever found out--and she may have--it would've hurt her a tremondous amount.
Sex with her was my first taste of adult sex--where you have it with each other so much, in so many different ways, in so many different places, that after a while, it becomes a regular staple, and less like a high school/early college "look how grown up i am" kind of thing. Where you start learning what kind of partner (i loath using the word "lover" to describe myself.) you are, and what you can become.
With her, she was so nice, so caring, and i was such a shit, not loving her and not dumping her that after a while, sex became something i hated doing with her. Instead, i fucked my way through multiple girls, sometimes, other peoples girlfriends.
More about that shithole lifestyle later.
We broke up four years ago, maybe longer now. She's since married, and by all reports, deliriously happy. She doesn't call, and i think that's best. I respect her wishes.
There's nothing very positive to say. I've changed? Yes. What happened with A, the girl prior to her, hasn't happened since. What happened with N, the one in this story will never happen again. Leading people on is unforgiveable. I took away a portion of N's life, a portion i can never return, no matter how much i "change" or how much i "learn."
The best thing that can come out of that is that N was the person who taught me i was deserving of receiving love, and in the end, i was punished in similar fashion not too long after we seperated. The other good thing was that N taught me to never treat a woman like a stage prop in the endlessly dull and contrived thing i was calling a life back then.
College is a great place to be full of shit. Just thinking about it, and look at this emotionally overwrought drivel.
I need to go to sleep. I have a big day tomorrow.
Peace out to no one. I've enjoyed re-reading these--it's like myspace without the peeping toms.