theduke

So what's so interesting?

11 COMMENTS IN THE SPACE OF FOUR HOURS!!! I'm impressed, I should do more one sentence ambiguous journal entries in the future.

Ironically, looking back on what I was originally going to write about doesn't seem that interesting anymore. Fortunately I've had a very eventful evening that justifies the teaser entry.

The plan was to write about my short films and the feasibility of getting one, if not all, of them filmed by the end of the year is becoming increasingly probable. However, instead I'm going to talk about my latest stalker.

I don't think I've ever discussed my stalkers on this site. Strangely enough it's not something I often talk about, I have a few close friends who know about the ones in recent years and my best mate knows about them all, but I don't like to talk about them because I don't want to sound big headed when I talk about girls who obsess over me.

Tonight though was a really interesting case. It's a girl I met two weeks ago at a work leaving do. I was there for my mate Alice, but I didn't realise it was the a joint leaving do with this other girl. Anyway, I got talking to this girl and she seemed quite drunk and giggly and laughing at all my jokes. She said I was cute and I liked her straight away. We exchanged numbers and said we should meet up. The next day I didn't think anymore about it, I've been concentrating on my writing so much that I decided she was an unwanted distraction and she was so drunk she probably didn't remember me. We didn't seem to have anything in common except a liking of me and predicting that could lead to boring conversation I didn't call her.

I didn't think anything of it until yesterday, when I received an email from some girl on the department with the subject heading "What did you do?". The email contained a forward of an email sent by the girl I met to this girl on department. They were obviously friends, but the girl I'd met only talked about me for the whole email. Why hadn't I called? Had I said anything on department about her? Was there any other girls on the department I'd been talking to? Quite desperate stuff from someone I only had one conversation with, so I emailed back this girl on department explaining the situation. She emailed straight back and apologised, she didn't realise her friend was so "kooky".

Anyway, today I get a text from desperate girl apologising for the email fiasco and is it still alright to meet up for a drink. Foolishly I said yes, I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt and it was possible some people in the office had set up the email thing as a practical joke, I wanted to hear her side of the story. Well when we met at 8pm it was clear the email was no joke and she was clearly making an effort to impress. I always think my brown cords are a nice casual drink type of trouser, but I clearly was not in the same league of dresswear as her, my rip in the buttock a clear indication. However she loved it and began to ask all sorts of questions about what I'd been up to. It was interesting that she asked about my writing, as it was something I'd never told her, I then realised she knew a lot more about me than I knew of her, as I knew nothing and she knew a lot. The alarms and whistles were blowing, but it was difficult to come up with an excuse to go.

When we finally got around to leaving she tripped and said she'd broken something. I had a look at her foot and after a quick look determined it could be no more than a sprain. However, she still insisted on grabbing my arm to support herself. I escorted her to the taxi rank, but then she started going on about if we had met under different circumstances would I have called her. I tried to explain as best I could that I had no fucking clue as to who she was and that we had nothing in common. I tried to let her down gently and even managed to get her into the cab. Unfortunately about five minutes later as I was walking home a taxi pulled up and the crazy girl ran over to me (the sprain miraculously had healed) and grabbed me and kissed me. She asked if that had changed my mind about her (obviously believing this to be a truly romantic moment). I tried to tell her a bit more bluntly that I don't think we were suited to one another and this resulted in her sheepishly walking back to the taxi crying. I then had to take the long walk home down some pedestrianised bits just to make sure I wasn't followed. (Whilst writing this I've received four texxt messages, I'm scared to look).

I know it's not my fault, but it still makes me feel like shit. I don't know why I entertain these fantasies by being nice to them, but I've never had a stalker be a danger to me or the public. I had three that self harmed, but I know that at least two of them went to seek conselling. I seem to attract a certain unbalanced personality, which is unfortunate as I get very cautious around girls who I think may fancy me. This one was a shock though as it was the first stalker I didn't actually know. She'd obviously liked me for a while and her infatuation grew, suddenly climaxing when I actually spoke to her. I've been a bit obsessed with girls before, but generally ones I knew and spoke to. How can you truly be interested in someone without knowing their personality at all? Am I the only person who doesn't project an ideal onto every hottie they meet?

In ten days it will be a year since my last significant girlfriend attempted to commit suicide after we broke up. I'd just started to think I was ready for a serious relationship again, but this has certainly knocked my confidence. There are a few girls I really like and I don't want paranoia to ruin any possible chance I may have. However, I also don't want any of them to be emotionally fragile and attach themselves to me. I know some people get STD checks when they start significant relationships, would it be socially awkward to ask for a mental assessment too? I just don't want to be in a position where I see my ex-girlfriend taken into care four hours after our break up. Once in a lifetime is quite enough thank you.

Anyway, hope that was interesting enough for you.

Duke


EDIT: Jusy a note to say she was 26 which rules out the immaturity factor a little. Also, my longest ever girlfriend was 19 at the time an she was cool, and her quirks were cute rather than life threatening..

However, I understand where you guys are coming from, most of the mentals I know are under 21. Some of them are lovely, but the risk is often not worth it.