Christmas Cop
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket.
Before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
"Sounds like something mean I would do, if I was the cop".
Did you here about the cross-eyed ...
Did you here about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn't keep control of her pupils.
Hole in One
There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.
The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"
They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?"
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
"Let me see.... pretty much nothing going on in my life that requires attention. School is going well, have a test in Psychology tomorrow and I am hoping to do well. Looking forword to my days off, I am running O.I.C. again because my Sgt. called off due to illness, dude is such a hypocrite, says everyone has to be here for duty and he calls off".
I think I am going to be sick on Sunday....
Henshin a-go-go baby.
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well, next year, tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike."
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket.
Before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
"Sounds like something mean I would do, if I was the cop".
Did you here about the cross-eyed ...
Did you here about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn't keep control of her pupils.
Hole in One
There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having sex, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.
The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !"
They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?"
10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.
"Let me see.... pretty much nothing going on in my life that requires attention. School is going well, have a test in Psychology tomorrow and I am hoping to do well. Looking forword to my days off, I am running O.I.C. again because my Sgt. called off due to illness, dude is such a hypocrite, says everyone has to be here for duty and he calls off".
I think I am going to be sick on Sunday....
Henshin a-go-go baby.
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
Theres just so many conflicting ideas of beauty...many of which I bought into for so long. Esp. ideas which were never meant to include me in the areas of height/shape/hair/style, etc.
Its hard getting out of the mire when you've spent so long thinking the problem lay with you and not with it. And hearing it from others you believed were right. I'm working on it.