thedarkness

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty. She said, "Just a minute," and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do these excite you?"
Well, I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time." So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and pow, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"
I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.


Two women playing Golf

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked, "How does that feel?"
He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Sometimes I wish that I was working at Dairy Queen. For the next two day's, the supervisors here at the lovely D.O.C.R. will be in supervisors meeting at the local casino and guess what has two thumbs and is left in charge on swing shift? This guy, and to top it off, I found out that both of my supervisors will not return until next week. My Lieutenant because he has an open wound on his foot and his Doctor will not release him until the entire wound is closed-my Lieutenant said that is open only a centimeter-so he is off for another week.

My Sergeant is off this entire week, but since he has to go to this meeting, the Captain has given two extra day's off for the days he is in this meeting.

I know that this builds character and looks really good on my resume, but I am already a character, so I am taking the advice of handsomejoe and sticking to this place and hopefully when I apply for Police Officer, they will see that I am hireable and not a liability.

Henshin a-go-go baby.