theburningred

woke up today feeling a million times better. And so i found the strength to not call out again today. I had a meeting in the grove this morning (about 45 min south of my office) when my boss asked if i wanted to go i practically ran out the door. It was such a nice day and i didn't want to be kooked up behind a desk as the world goes by.

My boss is a cool guy. I've known him almost 10 years. He knows my highs and lows. Sadly he has been pretty much the only man in my life that buys me flowers. I know what that sounds like, but it's not that way. He buys all the women in the office (including his wife) flowers about once a month. It's sweet.

Remember back in high school on Valentines day there would be the girls with the boyfriends who sent them a dozen roses? I hated those girls. I think i hated the boyfriends more. they made me think my own boyfriend at the time was a loser. He wasn't though, he just never grasped the correlation between girls, flowers, and valentines day. Honestly though Fuck Valentines day! Every year whether or not i have a guy in my life- i hate the ridiculous pressure.
Last year i spent it with my ex fighting and having make up sex over and over (that was fun )
I'm in a strange place right now, just feeling down, hence the rant above. I cried in the shower last night. Felt good- but it sucked. I hate being a girl sometimes, cuz sometimes the smallest most dumbest shit can make you cry. Some things are definitely not meant for forever but when that reality hits, it just hurts, almost stings- people change, family, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends there's no going back to the way things used to be sometimes. Could it be the Dashboard Confessional CD i have playing or the 1/2 perk leftover i popped when i got home? hmmmm