thebrosia

Friday - Got up, tooth was hurting really badly, went to work anyway. Work sucked, no big surprise there. Gary, my super cool GM is on vacation this week and the dude above him Frank was there and he's a total cocksmoker and I hope he dies. Got off work, came home, got showered and whatnots and then the boys immediately started driving me up the wall. Something you should know about me, I have generally ALL guy friends. I have 2 girl best friends and they are Meow and Kelly. Kelly lives in Indiana and Meow recently moved to Columbus so I don't really have lots of vag around me. Which is just fine by me. But one of the things I cannot stand about my boys is that they are completely incapable of making any sort of decision or plan about what we should all do unless I sort out the entire thing, call each one of them and hand them the plan for the night on a silver platter. With the exception of Jonnieboy who for whatever reason is an excellent planner and usually beats me to the punch. But I digress. Kannibaliztik calls and as always wants to know what we are doing and informs me that he wants to see the Texas Chainsaw prequel at 5:50. At the time, it's about 4:15 so I'm like yeah we can swing that. So I call and wake up Spoon (who you will hear about often but is normally referred to as "the boy") and my friend Kill Bill. They cannot grasp the idea of calling eachother to sort out their plans so that Kannibaliztik can pick me up and they can meet us at the theater. So rather than do my makeup and get dressed which is what I should have been doing I have to keep calling/texting/instant messaging the boys trying to get them together and out of the house in order to go to this movie which by then I didn't even wanna go to anymore because I was annoyed as all fuck. So anyway, when I am finally ready and about to walk out the door, Captain Kirk calls and informs me that he is going as well and would like to know if I will pay for him. Of course I snap on him but say fine fuck it just leave the fucking house!!!! So we (and by we, I mean just Kannibaliztik and I because of course they are a century late) get there and stand around waiting for an eternity. Finally, he goes in with Corey and I am stuck there waiting. Then, horror of horrors some family walks up with their six billion kids and they all start screaming and running and being generally annoying and stupid and kid-like. One of them almost collides into me and I sorta wish he had cause he woulda burned himself on my cigarette. Fuck that kid. They finally arrive, we go in, we watch the movie. It was meh. I mean I enjoyed it don't get me wrong, but in all actuality it was exactly like the first remake. So I liked it, but I've already paid to see that movie. And the other one had Jessica Biel in it who is far foxier than Jordana Brewster aka the bushy eyebrowed little sister of Vin Diesel from the Fast and the Furious. So then we go to Kannibaliztik and Johnnieboy's house for beer and jager and general fun times. My friends Emily and Sam came by which was fantastic cause they are great and it's nice to have some fun girls around. I remember there being beer, more beer, shots, more shots, and mostly I remember that my tooth was killing me and I was sucking down orajel like a dirty joke about someone sucking down lots of something. Around 3:30 am or so, I decided we should "go theivin" which is one of mine and Meow's favorite pasttimes, but when she isn't around I will find suitable replacements to help me get our "bounty" or "booty" as we like to call it. Neighbors beware, anything in your yard that can be picked up probably will be. The biggest prizes of the evening were a huge plastic light up pumpkin, a light up Bengal (yes as in Cincinnati), and some real pumpkins which I plan to carve into fun things once I get one of those awesome books with the lil' cut out stencil whatchamacallits. Then I called the boy to tell him of my bounty and he was an asswipe cause he doesn't like when I do it cause he thinks it's mean and that I am going to get caught. What is some cop gonna say should I get caught fleeing the scene with a pumpkin? "put it back?" big deal. Anyway, by this time I realized that I was not going to be getting up at 9 for work and that I may as well get up around 6 or so and call work and tell them the bad news. So, I passed out for about an hour after Kannibaliztik and I laughed hysterically over a gif of that chick in the ring, the one victim in the closet, when they open the closet door and she looks all crazed and her head falls forward. yeah well someone made it into a gif of her headbanging which is undoubtedly one of the funniest things ever. So I get up around 6 and call and call and call and pass out on the couch holding my phone until someone pounds on the door and scares the shit out of me. It's Meow who sits with me while I keep calling back and tells me a hilarious story about Vectrexxx singing a Paula Abdul song at random, and unless you know him, I can't really describe the way that he says the funniest shit ever made only funnier by his ability to be completely serious and have the straightest face of all time. So I finally get in touch with my job and they send me to some voicemail cause apparently there are no managers on duty because that place sucks and is run like shit (fyi I am a housekeeper at a hotel, it is as bad as it sounds). And I pass back out only to have my mom call later saying that my job called there looking for me, so I call them and long story short, they are fucking retarded and say I never called.

Saturday - So that is how Saturday started. Then I watched the Sisterhood of the Travleing Pants on HBO cause hey why the hell not. There was some little girl in it whose face was pissing me off. I could have enjoyed her character but I couldn't stand this little girl, she looked like someone and I can't place who. Anyway, I hate her face. Her asshole face. Her lips were odd. But anyway, it wasn't bad, nothing to get excited about. Just yet another movie I have seen *shrugs. So then Kannibaliztik, Meow and I decided it was time for chow and so we went to the neighborhood Steak and Shake. On the way there, we were driving through the nicest, whitest part of Blue Ash and discussing the various restaurants. Me - "Something smells really good" Fathead - "Yeah that's Montgomery Inn", Me - "NO WAY there is a Montgomery Inn around here????" And right as I am saying it, all 3 of us look out the window on my side and see that the entire side of the building next to us says MONTGOMERY INN. I am an ass. We get there, and some lady looked just like Kathy Bates and we were afraid. My tooth hurt but I sucked it up and demolished my mushroom burger anyway. So then we all went back to the house and Meow had to leave for work, so Kannibaliztik and I opted to go hang with Spoon and Kill Bill and that was chock full of beers and watching International Pimp my Ride which Spoon had been kind enough to download for us. It was classic, one of them was in Poland and the other was in Portugal and goddamn I thought the cars on the American one were pieces of crap. One was hosted by Fat Joe and the other by Lil' Jon which as you can imagine was fucking awesome. So, then I passed out on the couch upstairs since I had to work today and I later stumbled downstairs where I was greeted by the boy who was getting our couch bed ready and was coming to get me. There were snuggles but mostly I just passed right back out while he was trying to tell me something. Got up today and went to work and it sucked ass, and my head is now throbbing as a fun result of my tooth issues. I am supposed to go to the Dental Clinic tomorrow because I don't have dental insurance so really that's my only option. Hopefully they won't accidentally give me some crazy veneers and I end up looking like Hilary Duff with her freakish new horse teeth.