Time for an update. Warning this could be a long one and I don't expect anyone to reas it but kind of need to get my thoughts in order and here is as good a place as any
So first off things that went wrong last year and allowed me to feel sorry for myself
In chronological order
July: Mum was diagnosed with two different forms of cancer
September: My girlfriend of 5 years left me,
October: My dog died (to be fair she was 18 so had a good life)
November: I crashed my car a week before my birthday (It wasn't a new car but I only had it for two months and I loved it)
November: I turned 30 (turning 30 didn't bother me as such but around that time myself and the ex had been meeting up and getting on well and there was talk of us getting back together, so my birthday was on a Thursday and we had arranged a date on the Friday as a trial run and we were planning on spending the weekend together, shortly after we broke up in August I got invited to spend my birthday weekend with a friend who is living in Budapest so not wanting to spend it on my own I booked flights and a hotel time off work etc, when it looked like myself and the ex were going to give it another shot I cancelled the trip to Budapest because I really wanted to give us another shot. So plans for Friday and the weekend and my birthday on the Thursday so on Thursday she got in touch and wanted to meet up for a drink for my birthday and give me a present etc so we met up and after a while of chatting about us etc she tells me that she no longer wanted to give us another go because she didn't think it would work. To say I was crushed is putting it mildly, it just seemed so unfair that she could decide this without even trying to give it another go. The timing of it absolutly sucked, she dumped me for the second time on my 30th birthday so I was left to spend the weekend on my own being absolutly miserable when i should have been having a good time in Budapest (in her defense she didn't know I had planned to go away that weekend) and it seems that I have lost a friend as well as the girl in Budapest hasn't spoken to me since, it wasn't the first time I had bailed on her for my ex so hard to blame her really
Shortly after the above I started to lose the plot, I got really low and felt really sorry for myself (during all this I put on a lot of weight by comfort eating and being out of shape made me feel even more sorry for myself and things went on like that) I went home for Christmas and moped around, I met a nice girl but all that did was make me sad as she wasn't my ex so that didn't go any further
New year new start etc
So things from last year that aren't so bad:
My mum has had her operations and treatment and thankfully the doctors say it was caught early and she should be fine, she has started back at work and everything. We really were very lucky and I only wish that everyone who finds themseleves in a similar situation could get such good news
I am pretty much over my ex, we did say we were going to stay friends but that hasn't happened she only contacts me when she needs somehting so that is a little sad. I met has last weekend and she was telling me about a guy she is seeing and shagging. A few months ago the thoughts of her sleeping with someone else would have made me physically ill but it really didn't bother me last weekend. What did bother me a bit was the guy she is going out with is a guy she admitted fancying when we broke up (there were other reasons for the break up too) and that irks me a little, it probably shouldn't but it does but what is worse is that the guy has a girlfriend already. They all work in the same company so this has the potential to blow up in her face and I am a bit worried about her. It is her life though and her mistakes to make
My car is being fixed but it will probably be another month before I get it back
Things that still suck from last year
I amn't getting any younger
I am having real trouble sleeping, it seems that my body has gotten so used to having someone next to it that I cannot sleep properly on my own, I seem to need someone curled up next to me to sleep and I don't see anyone volunteering for that job anytime soon
On the whole things are on the up, I am feeling better about things and have managed to get out of the habit of feeling sorry for myself, I have the odd bad day but they are getting fewer and further between
I really have to count myself lucky though, nothing really bad happened to me although it sucked at the time but some people experience real tragedy and trauma so I really shouldn't allow myself to mope
I am trying to get out a bit more often and meet new people and take up a few activities in the evenings to get me out off the couch, it kind of sucks living on my own but I am getting used to it, at least I don't have to watch the soaps anymore
Myself and the ex used to go to the cinema a lot and I hadn't been since we split up, it is 5 mins down the road but I couldn't bring myself to go on my own despite the fact that I did all the time years ago, anyway I went recently on my own so that has to be progress of sorts
For anyone who trawled through that you deserve to be rewarded so have a bit of one of my favourite comedians
So first off things that went wrong last year and allowed me to feel sorry for myself
In chronological order
July: Mum was diagnosed with two different forms of cancer
September: My girlfriend of 5 years left me,
October: My dog died (to be fair she was 18 so had a good life)
November: I crashed my car a week before my birthday (It wasn't a new car but I only had it for two months and I loved it)
November: I turned 30 (turning 30 didn't bother me as such but around that time myself and the ex had been meeting up and getting on well and there was talk of us getting back together, so my birthday was on a Thursday and we had arranged a date on the Friday as a trial run and we were planning on spending the weekend together, shortly after we broke up in August I got invited to spend my birthday weekend with a friend who is living in Budapest so not wanting to spend it on my own I booked flights and a hotel time off work etc, when it looked like myself and the ex were going to give it another shot I cancelled the trip to Budapest because I really wanted to give us another shot. So plans for Friday and the weekend and my birthday on the Thursday so on Thursday she got in touch and wanted to meet up for a drink for my birthday and give me a present etc so we met up and after a while of chatting about us etc she tells me that she no longer wanted to give us another go because she didn't think it would work. To say I was crushed is putting it mildly, it just seemed so unfair that she could decide this without even trying to give it another go. The timing of it absolutly sucked, she dumped me for the second time on my 30th birthday so I was left to spend the weekend on my own being absolutly miserable when i should have been having a good time in Budapest (in her defense she didn't know I had planned to go away that weekend) and it seems that I have lost a friend as well as the girl in Budapest hasn't spoken to me since, it wasn't the first time I had bailed on her for my ex so hard to blame her really
Shortly after the above I started to lose the plot, I got really low and felt really sorry for myself (during all this I put on a lot of weight by comfort eating and being out of shape made me feel even more sorry for myself and things went on like that) I went home for Christmas and moped around, I met a nice girl but all that did was make me sad as she wasn't my ex so that didn't go any further
New year new start etc
So things from last year that aren't so bad:
My mum has had her operations and treatment and thankfully the doctors say it was caught early and she should be fine, she has started back at work and everything. We really were very lucky and I only wish that everyone who finds themseleves in a similar situation could get such good news
I am pretty much over my ex, we did say we were going to stay friends but that hasn't happened she only contacts me when she needs somehting so that is a little sad. I met has last weekend and she was telling me about a guy she is seeing and shagging. A few months ago the thoughts of her sleeping with someone else would have made me physically ill but it really didn't bother me last weekend. What did bother me a bit was the guy she is going out with is a guy she admitted fancying when we broke up (there were other reasons for the break up too) and that irks me a little, it probably shouldn't but it does but what is worse is that the guy has a girlfriend already. They all work in the same company so this has the potential to blow up in her face and I am a bit worried about her. It is her life though and her mistakes to make
My car is being fixed but it will probably be another month before I get it back
Things that still suck from last year
I amn't getting any younger
I am having real trouble sleeping, it seems that my body has gotten so used to having someone next to it that I cannot sleep properly on my own, I seem to need someone curled up next to me to sleep and I don't see anyone volunteering for that job anytime soon
On the whole things are on the up, I am feeling better about things and have managed to get out of the habit of feeling sorry for myself, I have the odd bad day but they are getting fewer and further between
I really have to count myself lucky though, nothing really bad happened to me although it sucked at the time but some people experience real tragedy and trauma so I really shouldn't allow myself to mope
I am trying to get out a bit more often and meet new people and take up a few activities in the evenings to get me out off the couch, it kind of sucks living on my own but I am getting used to it, at least I don't have to watch the soaps anymore
Myself and the ex used to go to the cinema a lot and I hadn't been since we split up, it is 5 mins down the road but I couldn't bring myself to go on my own despite the fact that I did all the time years ago, anyway I went recently on my own so that has to be progress of sorts
For anyone who trawled through that you deserve to be rewarded so have a bit of one of my favourite comedians
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Except about your dog, sorry about that.
We'll go cinema so. Or watch a dvd. I talk a lot during films though. But we'll have some fun,
How was your trip wesht?