the_ogre

Well. I guess my first post I should do the whole intro thing.
I'm a big nerd. heh. I mean that literally I'm around 6'2 to 6'4 depending on whether or not I'm slouching or not. And I've got some weight packed on that frame. I'd like to lose it, but motivation is currently lacking. Besides me and food get along so well.
I work as a corrections officer. It's not a career choice, just a job. The levels of bs that I must swim through on a nightly basis gets deeper by the day. Inmates I can deal with,its the administration that irks me. I am proud of the fact that in over three years no one has taken a swing at me, nor have I had to use spray. Good communication skills and a bit of empathy can get you through a lot. But when dealing with drunks at intake...good luck.
Recently had a birthday, it blew. People I thought were friends never even bothered to call. Part of expected it. My birthdays are usually a let down. So lost in my own bs, I forgot to light a candle for my grandpa. We had the same birthday..had....

What I would like to do with my life. I dunno. I'm getting closer to 30 and that answer still kind of eludes me.
If I had my choice, I would love to finish the books I'm trying to write, but the going is so slow. Many days go bye without writing a single sentence. I'm worried that I'll put so much effort into it, only for it to flop. But I know i have talent. Really wishing I had paid more attention in English class now, or even passed it or graduated for that matter. Lets hear it for GED's.
Moving on to interests.
Anything medieval. I own a functional high carbon steel sword. I'm currently putting together a suit of armor for both renfair use and SCA fighting. It's going about as slow as my books.
I like hanging out with my friends, getting drunk with friends. Not much of a drinker still I started the corrections job, though I see the perils of it everyday. Lesson from that is.. Drink at home or where you plan to stay for the night. I'm not much of a club person. Thing of it is, I have a problem with people..especially crowds, double that for packed in crowds. I start to panic if I don't have enough room to put my arms out. Even in shift meetings at work that's happened. talking to people I dont know is another problem. Yeah, I'm a social-phobe. So.. lets see.. Overweight, nerdy social-phobe..yeah I'm painfully single. Hell I've never been on a date. I should've had kids and settled down and blah blah blah by now, kinda makes me the black sheep of the family. But I took a vow the other day to start turning things around, to be more bold. A friend of mine once said this.. "You will never know the sweet scent of a rose if you do not risk her thorns."
Maybe I should wear gloves...

Thanks to the relative safety of the net, I can throw all this out here. How many people are gonna read this anyway, right?...right...