My life is suddenly turning into one of those clichs from old horror movies set in hotels. You know that bit where the protagonist goes up to check in, and finds out that SHOCK HORROR he's been there for years and years and years? My dealings with the gym have become a twisted parody of that.
I booked myself in for an induction last Tuesday. I show up and find out the relevant people haven't been informed of my appointment. Staff have been sent home because it was dead, and now there's nobody to do it. Mildly annoying but I book another one for Friday among a sea of apologies.
Today (Friday) i show up for my induction and yet again they have no idea that I'm coming. I saw them write it in the book on Tuesday, I can see it in the book right in front of you now....it definitely happened. Both times I've gone for it they'd feigned ignorance and been all "Are you sure its today?"
No, i got my days mixed up. You see I have sooooo much free time lately that I just threw a dart at a calendar and thats when i booked my induction for. I must've gotten confused because my cocaine orgy was brought forward a day.
Yes I'm bloody sure its today!
Apparently their staffing problems are because one of their instructors is sick. Firstly, I'd have thought that having spoken to the non-sick instructor on Tuesday, and booking my induction with him directly - he'd have said "Actually mate, Friday is my day off so its not too good" instead of saying "Yeah Friday's fine, I'll see you then" Secondly - you lot push this fucking gym acting all holier than thou as if its some kind of magical elixr that stops you ever getting ill. As far as I can tell this instructor's been sick for the better part of a fortnight.
I ate a full sized chocolate sponge cake yesterday as a SNACK, and have Dr.Pepper coarsing through my veins. I genuinely don't remember the last time I exercised. I've not been sick in over a year.
It's not hard, is it? Take my money, take my direct debit details, take a photo of me for that stupid laminated membership card and show me how to use the machines. Infact, fuck that last bit - I can probably figure it out myself, most of them only pull one way so it's pretty hard to do it wrong.
Its the only half decent gym round here too, I just wanna get this bit out of the way - then I can come and go as I please without having to be all self-conscious and just put some headphones in and IGNORE YOU ALL.
I booked myself in for an induction last Tuesday. I show up and find out the relevant people haven't been informed of my appointment. Staff have been sent home because it was dead, and now there's nobody to do it. Mildly annoying but I book another one for Friday among a sea of apologies.
Today (Friday) i show up for my induction and yet again they have no idea that I'm coming. I saw them write it in the book on Tuesday, I can see it in the book right in front of you now....it definitely happened. Both times I've gone for it they'd feigned ignorance and been all "Are you sure its today?"
No, i got my days mixed up. You see I have sooooo much free time lately that I just threw a dart at a calendar and thats when i booked my induction for. I must've gotten confused because my cocaine orgy was brought forward a day.
Yes I'm bloody sure its today!
Apparently their staffing problems are because one of their instructors is sick. Firstly, I'd have thought that having spoken to the non-sick instructor on Tuesday, and booking my induction with him directly - he'd have said "Actually mate, Friday is my day off so its not too good" instead of saying "Yeah Friday's fine, I'll see you then" Secondly - you lot push this fucking gym acting all holier than thou as if its some kind of magical elixr that stops you ever getting ill. As far as I can tell this instructor's been sick for the better part of a fortnight.
I ate a full sized chocolate sponge cake yesterday as a SNACK, and have Dr.Pepper coarsing through my veins. I genuinely don't remember the last time I exercised. I've not been sick in over a year.
It's not hard, is it? Take my money, take my direct debit details, take a photo of me for that stupid laminated membership card and show me how to use the machines. Infact, fuck that last bit - I can probably figure it out myself, most of them only pull one way so it's pretty hard to do it wrong.
Its the only half decent gym round here too, I just wanna get this bit out of the way - then I can come and go as I please without having to be all self-conscious and just put some headphones in and IGNORE YOU ALL.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
Because I'm willing to give it a 4 on your behalf alone.