the_monster

so much going on in my mind. not bad, not good, just a lot going on. i don't know why. it kind of feels like my anxiety is manifesting it's self in a different ways. my inability to make simple decisions is not only back but harder then ever, for example i spent an hour trying to decide what kind of coffee to buy. it felt like life or death that i pick the right one. but the decisions that really matter in my life i can analyze and respond to appropriately without issue and within a reasonable amount of time. by the way the reason i was buying coffee, something i don't normally do, is that i've decided to start making my own rather then buying it in an effort to save money. and i figure if i get myself interested in coffee and trying different kinds, like with beer, i'll be more likely to stick with making it. oh well.
i'm happy. i just wonder what's going on in my brain. i've always had to little of this or that chemical. it feels like maybe that's shifting. i don't know if that's even possible.
out of boredom i started looking up jobs for "residential counseling" (what i currently do) at different cities around the country. and found that i can do this is pretty much every city. that's promising. i have such a desire to wander. i wonder where i'll end up next.