the_minx

I have decided to go anonymous on SG.

I don't mind that I was removed from SGAZ....what I do mind, is that the person that has removed me, I don't feel was being completely honest with the reasoning of why I was removed.

The reason I say this is, because I have spoken with a few people that I had thought might have contributed to the owner's decision of removing me from the group...only to find out, two of the people I thought were the plaintiffs, had in fact never said anything about wanting me to be removed from the group. Assuming the person I spoke with today was being honest with me, which I sure hope so, because this could potentially determine our friendship from here on out.

So...the person who removed me from the group, made it clear that it was nothing personal....but more of my "attitude" on and off of SG. Now, in a way this person holds a valid point...because I have been going through a rough time as of late, and it has shown through my journal entries...however, no one in that group besides a couple people (whom I am friends with) do not know me personally, outside of a couple of events we've met at. They have no idea what goes on outside of my SG entries - They only "know" what I choose to write about. Sometimes I write it all, sometimes I leave things out... So, I'm starting to think this attitude thing was a cop-out excuse to kick me out, without having to tell me the real reason.

There is honestly only ONE person I definately know has a problem with me....but I was told that person that has a problem with me did not complain about being uncomfortable with my presence. So who could it be? Is the owner lying, or are other people pretending to be friendly, and scheming behind my back?

The point is...this is all sillyness. I have much more significant things to stress about, than some silly website drama. What it comes down to is high-school caddy moves. So in so is saying this, but this other person says something differently. Nothing quite matches up...and instead of investigating what has really been said, and who's really said it...I've decided to give up. I have not benefited off any of this, which gives me no reason to want to stay here.

I am thankful for those I have met through this site who have been genuine and honest with me. And I'm thankful that I don't feel the need to exploit those who stand on their high-horses pointing fingers at me, when I know many things they have done, that some people they hang around don't know of.

I get no satisfcation anymore of hurting anyone. Those who feel hurt by me, are mostly people who don't know me on a personal level anyways. That's entirley their choice to get upset over whatever they choose that day/month.

I want to be surrounded by people who encourage me to remove myself from the dark side. I want to be around people who bring out the good qualities in my personality. Not dwell in what I have done wrong, and judge me for it.

I love all of you who have been loyal, and kind and have accepted me for who I was, and who I am, and who I am becomming. I will miss you all.

I guess that's the end. If you want to keep in touch, my email is crzy4amaninunfrm@yahoo.com. and my AIM name is BlaueMinxAugen. I'll leave it up to you.

To those who I have hurt, I am sorry. To those who have hurt me, I forgive and love you, and I hope your life is wonderful and that you make the right decisions pushing you in the direction you'd like to go.

I have no quams...and I hope any of you that are reading this (those who are added and not added, which I know read this) have no quams either.

♥

"Live life. Roll the dice. Take the chance."