Oh God Oh God, Were All Gonna Die!
It is that time of the year, the time for reflection and figuring out what means something to us. It is that time of the year where we make big promises to ourselves of sweeping change in the new year. It is that time of the year that we take a look back, and hopefully see the shiny points and not the dark.
I think my reflection started around December 21st, the so called end of the world date. As an anthropologist, I knew that the Mayans hadnt said the world would end, and so I wasnt worried. The thing was, I wasnt worried, but in the back of my mind I was ultra aware of the date, I was aware that part of me wondered what if. I knew that it wouldnt happen, but what if it did happen? That was how I knew it had been talked about too much and for too long, when my own brain was jumping above logic and wondering what if.
At that point I started to see what drove the people that were building bunkers and shelters as the date grew closer. I had thought they were mainly crackpots that fell into theories and let them take over, and perhaps that is partially true, but at the same time, maybe it isnt. What I mean is, what if these are intelligent people that have that one inkling of doubt in the back of their head, that one little thing that keeps asking them what if. These are people that want to protect their families from all harm, so that desire then mates with the inkling, and the offspring is them doing everything they can to survive an apocalypse. I can respect that notion, but I feel sorry for the ones that incurred a ton of debt preparing for this thing that didnt happen. Suddenly they are faced with a whole new end of things, if they cant pay for all these things they have done to prepare for the apocalypse that is yet to come.
I can respect someone that wants to do whatever they can to protect their loved ones and themselves, but I think that if you should do it within your means. Of course this too isnt always possible, so then I started thinking more and more on the subject. Now I wondered how far you should go with it, and whether you have to have that little bit of the deranged in you to go ahead and move beyond your means. There is a fine line there, a line between protecting loved ones and showing the world up.
Naturally these thoughts on what drives a person to do something like that, wondering about what the reasons might be, brought me to thinking about the world and myself in general. The holidays have come and gone now, and I have to say, I had a really nice time with the family. Mom slightly guilted me into going to church on Christmas Eve, not all that bad of a thing, but man it was cold in there. Then it was a relaxed eve, as we do the Christmas thing on the day itself, much to moms chagrin. Dinner at the aunt and uncles with moms side of the family was good too. It was nice and relaxed, with good conversation, food, and company.
It is times like that, that I can see why I am like I am, because I come from good people. We have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, but were pretty good people, and I like where I come from. It is always good to have the holidays to remind us of things like that, especially when I hear people who have holidays that do the opposite. I fortunately have not experienced a horrible holiday, and I plan on keeping it that way.
So, as I am made more aware of having a good upbringing and base of support on the familial level, New Years Eve moves closer. Of course it has now passed, but the idea of it caused more thinking as well. I know that it is a good excuse to celebrate, but I was thinking more of the new beginnings it brings. I know a lot of people hope that the next year will be good to them, better than the past year was it would seem. For me, I want to take the idea of the new beginning and make it more than just the new year. Yes it is nice to start over on a calendar, but there are so many more moments in our lives that we can embrace as a new beginning.
Maybe they cant all be new beginnings, but they can be a new focus, a new perspective, a new direction. A new month, a new week, a new day, a new hour, all of these are moments when we can embrace these things and move forward. Sounds simple doesnt it? It kind of is. Obviously we cant throw everything up in the air and walk away whenever it pleases us, but we can take a moment to think, a moment to look at it all in another light, a moment to find what were looking for. Life is hard, but we dont have to do everything in our power to make it harder.
So, thats where a lot of my thoughts have been recently, and they are bringing me into 2013 and helping me get a little more focus on what I want to happen.
Obviously the big one is a move, I am due a move, and I think we all know where I want that to take me. I think 2013 is a good time for a new start in a new land, so I will be working on that, and making that a reality. I will embrace the fear, and move from the comfort, knowing that if I fall, I can limp back to the comfort. This is good to know, but I wont rely on it.
I plan on keeping the important people close to me, even if it takes technology to do so. I will let these people know how important they are, and how much they mean to me. I will let those that dont have my best interests at heart fall to the wayside, I wont allow the toxic to keep places in my life, Im too old for that shit.
I will embrace my health, knowing what needs to be done and how to do it is half the battle, bout time I start fighting the other half too.
I will pursue the things that make me happy, and quit looking at the things that dont.
I will write more, on here, in my journal, and creatively. This is something I owe to myself, so it is something that I will do. It has been a dream for far too long for me to be as relaxed on it as I am.
I wont beat myself up for not using my degree just yet. There are many people in this world that dont use their degrees, and I am merely one of them. I will remind myself of the work I put into getting it, and how much I enjoyed all of that.
I wont look at 2012 as a wasted year because I was in the same position as the year before and the one before that, because when I look at it, I see I wasnt actually in the same position. 2012 was the first year I wasnt in school, the first year I didnt have anything like that hanging over me, so it was a year of figuring out who I am when I am not a student, even if I didnt know thats what I was doing. It took some reflection to figure that out, but I felt better once I did.
If you have made it this far, I thank you, and I wish you a Happy New Year. I hope that 2013 is wonderful to you, that it is full of amazing adventures and good health, that it finds you smiling more than you are frowning, that you learn new things about the world and about yourself, that you are surrounded by support and love, and that you have laughter that you cause and that is caused within you.
You should see more of me around here, and I look forward to hearing from you as we adventure forth in this new realm called 2013.
It is that time of the year, the time for reflection and figuring out what means something to us. It is that time of the year where we make big promises to ourselves of sweeping change in the new year. It is that time of the year that we take a look back, and hopefully see the shiny points and not the dark.
I think my reflection started around December 21st, the so called end of the world date. As an anthropologist, I knew that the Mayans hadnt said the world would end, and so I wasnt worried. The thing was, I wasnt worried, but in the back of my mind I was ultra aware of the date, I was aware that part of me wondered what if. I knew that it wouldnt happen, but what if it did happen? That was how I knew it had been talked about too much and for too long, when my own brain was jumping above logic and wondering what if.
At that point I started to see what drove the people that were building bunkers and shelters as the date grew closer. I had thought they were mainly crackpots that fell into theories and let them take over, and perhaps that is partially true, but at the same time, maybe it isnt. What I mean is, what if these are intelligent people that have that one inkling of doubt in the back of their head, that one little thing that keeps asking them what if. These are people that want to protect their families from all harm, so that desire then mates with the inkling, and the offspring is them doing everything they can to survive an apocalypse. I can respect that notion, but I feel sorry for the ones that incurred a ton of debt preparing for this thing that didnt happen. Suddenly they are faced with a whole new end of things, if they cant pay for all these things they have done to prepare for the apocalypse that is yet to come.
I can respect someone that wants to do whatever they can to protect their loved ones and themselves, but I think that if you should do it within your means. Of course this too isnt always possible, so then I started thinking more and more on the subject. Now I wondered how far you should go with it, and whether you have to have that little bit of the deranged in you to go ahead and move beyond your means. There is a fine line there, a line between protecting loved ones and showing the world up.
Naturally these thoughts on what drives a person to do something like that, wondering about what the reasons might be, brought me to thinking about the world and myself in general. The holidays have come and gone now, and I have to say, I had a really nice time with the family. Mom slightly guilted me into going to church on Christmas Eve, not all that bad of a thing, but man it was cold in there. Then it was a relaxed eve, as we do the Christmas thing on the day itself, much to moms chagrin. Dinner at the aunt and uncles with moms side of the family was good too. It was nice and relaxed, with good conversation, food, and company.
It is times like that, that I can see why I am like I am, because I come from good people. We have our quirks and idiosyncrasies, but were pretty good people, and I like where I come from. It is always good to have the holidays to remind us of things like that, especially when I hear people who have holidays that do the opposite. I fortunately have not experienced a horrible holiday, and I plan on keeping it that way.
So, as I am made more aware of having a good upbringing and base of support on the familial level, New Years Eve moves closer. Of course it has now passed, but the idea of it caused more thinking as well. I know that it is a good excuse to celebrate, but I was thinking more of the new beginnings it brings. I know a lot of people hope that the next year will be good to them, better than the past year was it would seem. For me, I want to take the idea of the new beginning and make it more than just the new year. Yes it is nice to start over on a calendar, but there are so many more moments in our lives that we can embrace as a new beginning.
Maybe they cant all be new beginnings, but they can be a new focus, a new perspective, a new direction. A new month, a new week, a new day, a new hour, all of these are moments when we can embrace these things and move forward. Sounds simple doesnt it? It kind of is. Obviously we cant throw everything up in the air and walk away whenever it pleases us, but we can take a moment to think, a moment to look at it all in another light, a moment to find what were looking for. Life is hard, but we dont have to do everything in our power to make it harder.
So, thats where a lot of my thoughts have been recently, and they are bringing me into 2013 and helping me get a little more focus on what I want to happen.
Obviously the big one is a move, I am due a move, and I think we all know where I want that to take me. I think 2013 is a good time for a new start in a new land, so I will be working on that, and making that a reality. I will embrace the fear, and move from the comfort, knowing that if I fall, I can limp back to the comfort. This is good to know, but I wont rely on it.
I plan on keeping the important people close to me, even if it takes technology to do so. I will let these people know how important they are, and how much they mean to me. I will let those that dont have my best interests at heart fall to the wayside, I wont allow the toxic to keep places in my life, Im too old for that shit.
I will embrace my health, knowing what needs to be done and how to do it is half the battle, bout time I start fighting the other half too.
I will pursue the things that make me happy, and quit looking at the things that dont.
I will write more, on here, in my journal, and creatively. This is something I owe to myself, so it is something that I will do. It has been a dream for far too long for me to be as relaxed on it as I am.
I wont beat myself up for not using my degree just yet. There are many people in this world that dont use their degrees, and I am merely one of them. I will remind myself of the work I put into getting it, and how much I enjoyed all of that.
I wont look at 2012 as a wasted year because I was in the same position as the year before and the one before that, because when I look at it, I see I wasnt actually in the same position. 2012 was the first year I wasnt in school, the first year I didnt have anything like that hanging over me, so it was a year of figuring out who I am when I am not a student, even if I didnt know thats what I was doing. It took some reflection to figure that out, but I felt better once I did.
If you have made it this far, I thank you, and I wish you a Happy New Year. I hope that 2013 is wonderful to you, that it is full of amazing adventures and good health, that it finds you smiling more than you are frowning, that you learn new things about the world and about yourself, that you are surrounded by support and love, and that you have laughter that you cause and that is caused within you.
You should see more of me around here, and I look forward to hearing from you as we adventure forth in this new realm called 2013.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
That was an excellent point! The loss of bottoms would probably make more people turn in embarrassment than the top. You are the only one to say that