Realizations...
I start to ponder things, especially after a night at work where we dicuss what is wrong with management's way of going about thing's. Having one of the "old timers" say that he would be looking for something else kind of put's a little perspective on the changes there, and really the directions headed. I never intended to make this job permanent, but I know why some do, and I know that it's a good job, but this was a means to an end for me, apparently just 4 years in the making, but I digress.
I am good at my job, and I take pride in that, I might not always bust my ass but on the great scale of it all both platforms are pretty damn even if not skewed towards my effort more than lack of. It's not a "hard" job per se, but it takes thinking, and having a memory really helps, and I like that I get the job and can do it well. That is what keps me going on the days that I remember that I am slowly but surely living my life 5 days at a time, and man does shit fly by when you do that.
The realizations that I have come to will follow, the first being that one of my favorite things to do at work is pressure wash. When I break out a hotsy I am flying solo, the noise from the water is loud and puts me more firmly in my own world. It is not so loud that things are drowned out and unsafe, but it brings me to a place where I can think and mull things over. One of the main things I like about it is that I can see my progress, I can literally tell where I have been and what I have done, I am making a mark by taking marks off.
All to often I question if I am moving towards something or if I am entrenching myself instead, I don't know that I am making progress, and things like pressure washing show that you are. You know that you have moved forward, have done something productive, something that takes some bad out of it all and put a little good back, even if it only lasts a couple shifts, it's there.
Another thing like this is my love of reading, I will always read, and that's a fact, but when you read a book you see your progress, you know that you are moving through something. Not only are you moving through it, but you get to feel the heft leave your right hand and move to your left, and that shifting let's you know that you are accomplishing something, you are getting something done, the fact that you are being entertained as you do so is just icing on the cake really.
As I reflect and plan I sometimes wonder about my actions and whether I am doing enough or really anything, and it's because of those questions that I start to enjoy things like pressure washing, and put a new spin on reading. I self sabotage a lot, and that is something I am learning to move away from, and I have become a much more positive person, more privately that is, I have always been all smiles in public, but I am getting it reflected inwards now too, and the progress is being made, but in the mean time washing the floors of the shop and the locomotives that come in, and turning the pages, well those are the small victories that I love so much.
Now, I have wanted to do a music blog for a while so here's a few songs to bide your time.
This one was supposed to be Eric Church's Smoke a Little Smoke, great song, go watch it please, fricking disabled finding out later bullcrap.
It's a little out of sync, but it's a great video actually.
And Jamey Johnson Mowing Down the Roses is disabled too, WTF, it's good too though.
Just some of the ways that my musical ear bends lately.
I start to ponder things, especially after a night at work where we dicuss what is wrong with management's way of going about thing's. Having one of the "old timers" say that he would be looking for something else kind of put's a little perspective on the changes there, and really the directions headed. I never intended to make this job permanent, but I know why some do, and I know that it's a good job, but this was a means to an end for me, apparently just 4 years in the making, but I digress.
I am good at my job, and I take pride in that, I might not always bust my ass but on the great scale of it all both platforms are pretty damn even if not skewed towards my effort more than lack of. It's not a "hard" job per se, but it takes thinking, and having a memory really helps, and I like that I get the job and can do it well. That is what keps me going on the days that I remember that I am slowly but surely living my life 5 days at a time, and man does shit fly by when you do that.
The realizations that I have come to will follow, the first being that one of my favorite things to do at work is pressure wash. When I break out a hotsy I am flying solo, the noise from the water is loud and puts me more firmly in my own world. It is not so loud that things are drowned out and unsafe, but it brings me to a place where I can think and mull things over. One of the main things I like about it is that I can see my progress, I can literally tell where I have been and what I have done, I am making a mark by taking marks off.
All to often I question if I am moving towards something or if I am entrenching myself instead, I don't know that I am making progress, and things like pressure washing show that you are. You know that you have moved forward, have done something productive, something that takes some bad out of it all and put a little good back, even if it only lasts a couple shifts, it's there.
Another thing like this is my love of reading, I will always read, and that's a fact, but when you read a book you see your progress, you know that you are moving through something. Not only are you moving through it, but you get to feel the heft leave your right hand and move to your left, and that shifting let's you know that you are accomplishing something, you are getting something done, the fact that you are being entertained as you do so is just icing on the cake really.
As I reflect and plan I sometimes wonder about my actions and whether I am doing enough or really anything, and it's because of those questions that I start to enjoy things like pressure washing, and put a new spin on reading. I self sabotage a lot, and that is something I am learning to move away from, and I have become a much more positive person, more privately that is, I have always been all smiles in public, but I am getting it reflected inwards now too, and the progress is being made, but in the mean time washing the floors of the shop and the locomotives that come in, and turning the pages, well those are the small victories that I love so much.
Now, I have wanted to do a music blog for a while so here's a few songs to bide your time.
This one was supposed to be Eric Church's Smoke a Little Smoke, great song, go watch it please, fricking disabled finding out later bullcrap.
It's a little out of sync, but it's a great video actually.
And Jamey Johnson Mowing Down the Roses is disabled too, WTF, it's good too though.
Just some of the ways that my musical ear bends lately.
VIEW 25 of 56 COMMENTS
zombiekittybot:
Because we are so rad!
chrysis:
Yay for feeding the squirrels! I never understood why people got so upset about squirrels and chipmunks "stealing" bird food. Personally, I don't really like birds much at all .. and in this case if I saw birds eating these seeds, I'd be kind of upset and consider it stealing. Jays are alright, but yeah, they're annoying. I don't like cardinals either -- and I always, ALWAYS seem to have nests of them by every window .. in my life. Unfailingly.